


Falling Out of Reach

by twoshipsdrifting



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Louis-centric, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Multi, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, mentions of mpreg, the statuses are mostly fluid in this verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-10
Updated: 2015-03-10
Packaged: 2018-03-17 05:34:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 32,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3517337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoshipsdrifting/pseuds/twoshipsdrifting
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You actually did it,” he manages, “you actually went and got an omega.”<br/>Silence falls sharply in the kitchen and at least Harry has the decency to look guilty too.<br/>“I can’t believe this,” Louis bites out next.<br/>He ignores Niall’s steadying hand on his ribs.<br/>“What, saucyomegas.com?”<br/>The omega doesn’t say anything at all.  He just watches Louis with these dumb wide brown eyes – warily, like Louis is a wild animal or something.<br/>Louis wants to throttle him.  He wants to drag him down to the floor and smother him with his bare hands or do something until he wipes that awful look off his face.  </p>
<p>	“Matesformates.com, actually,” Zayn says.<br/>Louis doesn’t look at him.<br/>He can’t.<br/>Because he already knows what Zayn will look like, his jaw locked up tight and his eyes smoldering.<br/>Louis can’t look at him and maintain this steady thrum of anger.  </p>
<p>Zayn never used to look at him like that.<br/>They’ve never fought like this.</p>
<p>(or the one where Louis' boyfriends get themselves an omega so Louis doesn't have to be one.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling Out of Reach

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhh, this fic was such a burden of love for me! I only started it over twice and tore my hair out once..you know how it goes. 
> 
> Thank you so, so much to my betas! Courtney, Julie, and Danny!  
> I honestly couldn't have done this without you. 
> 
> Art for this fic is still forthcoming, but for now I've made a mix!  
> click [ here ](http://8tracks.com/jumpy1811/like-a-bridge)
> 
> update: adorable header [ here ](https://40.media.tumblr.com/8a3bdd5a48666eadf61656a8a4221b65/tumblr_nl4529NMPQ1sje6mno1_540.png)

Liam changes everything. 

That’s neither the beginning nor the end of it.  It’s just fact.     

…

The trip hadn’t been bad.   
That’s what Liam is thinking about as he examines the address on his phone again.   
The trip hadn’t been bad and there was no reason to be nervous.  He would be fine.   
Honestly – this was about the best outcome he could have hoped for.   
He gets to go to uni without being a burden and he finally gets to move out of his parents’ house – not that they aren’t lovely.  They are.  Of course.  But flying from the nest and all that.   
Liam huffs and gives himself one strangling moment of absolute fear.     
The taxi pulls away behind him and he adjusts the strap on his shoulder before picking his duffel up off the ground. 

The flat’s on the third floor and he’s not getting there any faster standing here.   
_Come on then Payne_ he tells himself.   _You can do this, you’re fine_.   
So he’d all but sold himself to a group of alphas.   
Not like it’s never happened before.   
And really things could be worse.   
These boys were about his age and they didn’t even want a traditional omega type relationship.  They wanted a companion.  Liam could do that.  Not to mention they obviously had money and Liam was only a short walk from campus staying with them.  

His stomach turns a bit and he ignores it, struggling through the door with his bags.  
And really he shouldn’t be nervous.   
It’s not like he can’t change his mind.  It’s not like he doesn’t have any rights.   
Sure there’s still prejudice out there towards omegas but things have come a long way.  
And really if he wasn’t an omega he wouldn’t be here right now.  
Plus it’s not like they can change anything without his consent.    
It will be fine.   
The only thing is – he really wants them to like him. 

And that’s what he’s worried about honestly.   
Liam’s never really been well liked.  Or popular rather.   
He’s honestly not sure what the problem is.  He always tries to be polite and do the right thing and he supposes…maybe he’s too nice?   
He just can’t much bring himself to be different than he is.   
If no one back home is interested in him, then there’s no reason for these boys to be interested.   
But they’d picked him.  Surely that meant they actually wanted him?   
Except…it wasn’t like he’d asked for much.  Moving expenses and a place to sleep – basics mostly.   
Some of the omegas had been asking for thousands of pounds. 

But it was just – well Liam was in a hurry.   
And surely if anyone was worth thousands of pounds it wasn’t him.   
He wasn’t a virgin and he’d been on suppressants for the past three years.  Who even knew if he had a regular heat cycle?   
Liam got a bit ill thinking about that but he generally tried not to.   
Not like that mattered now but what if they did like him?  And decided to keep him?  There was no way for Liam to know if he’d be able to give these alphas heat or children or anything that omegas were prized for.   
Inside the lobby, which was quite lovely actually, he glances around for the stairs rather than taking the elevator.   
Maybe he can burn off some of these nerves. 

Liam does feel a bit better by the time he hits the third floor and there’s a convenient sign pointing him towards 315.  He forces himself to slow down and breathe deeply as he approaches the door.   
_You can do this_ he reminds himself quickly.   
At the door he doesn’t let himself hesitate, letting his duffel drop to the floor and knocking firmly twice.   
It’s maybe ten seconds before the door opens and Liam loses his breath.  
He feels like he’s floating.   
This is not who he spoke to on the video chat and Liam doesn’t know if he’s glad or not because maybe he should have been prepared for this but at the same time it must be so much better in person. 

The boy half filling the doorway doesn’t say anything for a few seconds either – taking Liam in as well.   
Liam feels himself blush but forces himself to ignore it.  It’s easy enough with all the practice he’s had.  He forces himself to smile too for good measure.   
            “Hi,” he says, maybe over bright, “I’m Liam.”   
The boy looks Liam up and down again.   
            “You’re beautiful,” he says soft and blunt and horribly confusing. 

Liam feels his face crinkle up in confusion or denial or possible embarrassment and he ignores that too.   
            “I don’t – um,” he manages, rubbing at the back of his neck, “you don’t have to say that.”   
            “Alright,” he says next.  
And, well, that doesn’t help anything.   
“Come in,” he says suddenly, stepping away from the door and opening it further.  “Please,” he adds, smirking a bit.  “This all you’ve got?”   
Liam blushes again, he hadn’t had much to bring.   
            “Yeah,” he says, not admitting that out loud.   
He also doesn’t admit that the money he’d asked for was going towards a laptop for uni.   
His family was better off than most.  Not this well off but you couldn’t have everything. 

            “I’m Zayn,” the boy says, after an awkward moment where he tries to help Liam with his bags and Liam holds as tight as he can to both.   
Liam settles his bags on the floor inside the door and Zayn closes it behind him.   
They’re only separated by a few inches and Zayn’s gaze drops down to his mouth and then lower.   
Liam wants – he already wants.   
He’s so fucked. 

The way Zayn’s watching him it’s like he already knows and Liam thinks that Zayn is the most dangerous type of alpha.   
He just exudes a quiet confidence that has Liam’s nerves rattling up and down his ribcage.   
Sure possessive alphas can be hot.  Controlling alphas can be hot.  Quiet alphas?  The _worst_.   
Not that Zayn isn’t controlling or possessive – Liam’s sure he’s more than capable.   
Still.   
            “Suppressants?” Zayn asks, one brow lifted barely.   
            “Uh,” Liam manages, mind suspiciously blank.  “Y-yeah.  A while now.”   
Zayn doesn’t question him.  He only looks thoughtful a moment.   
Liam’s grateful.   
He’s still fucked though.   
            “The others will be home soon,” Zayn tells him.  “I can show you your room?”   
Liam nods, trying and failing to calm down again. 

Harry’s the next one home.   
Liam’s already spoken to him on the webcam and Harry seems lovely.   
Even if the first thing he does is walk right up to Liam and kiss him right on the mouth.   
Liam goes embarrassingly weak with it, sighing as Harry’s fingertips drift along his jaw.   
            “Sorry,” Harry says, smiling with bright eyes, “been wanting to do that since I saw your profile.”   
            “Oh,” Liam allows.  “I thought we weren’t – um,” he swallows quickly, “doing that.”   
There’s a beat of silence.   
            “We’re not,” Zayn confirms.   
Does he sound disappointed?   
Is Liam projecting?   
Probably.   
“Harry’s like that with everyone,” Zayn adds.   
            “I’m a lover,” Harry says, sounding proud of himself.   
            “Well um thanks.  Haven’t…done that in a bit.”   
And that was putting it lightly but Liam added it to his _not admitting that out loud_ pile. 

  
            “’S alright,” Harry says, “you’ll get plenty of practice – if you want I mean.”   
            “About that,” Zayn cuts in.  “We should probably talk before Lou and Niall get back.”   
Liam’s stomach goes tight with that and he can’t manage to form any words.   
He turns back into his room, which is lovely, with a huge bed and a closet bigger than he’d ever thought he’d have and even permission to decorate however he wanted, and he wonders what’s about to happen. 

Should they go in his room should they not go in his room?  
Were they about to tell him this was some sort of mistake?   
            “C’mon then Liam,” Harry says, tossing his arm carelessly over Liam’s shoulders and walking with him down the hall and to the couch.   
Liam doesn’t even have to agree out loud – he just has to follow along.  Simple.  He likes that. 

            “Right,” Zayn says, after they’ve been seated for what feels like ten minutes.  “We’re both alphas.”  
            “Yes,” Harry agrees, smiling.   
            “And Niall is a beta about ninety percent of the time.”   
Liam nods to show he’s listening.   
            “And there’s…four of you?” he prompts eventually.   
Harry and Zayn share a long look.   
            “Louis was an alpha,” Harry says, at the same time Zayn says,  
            “Louis’ an omega.”   
And – well. 

It’s not like Liam’s never heard of the people who can switch.   
He knows it’s possible – it’s just supposed to be really uncommon.   
            “And the thing is,” Zayn adds, “Harry and Niall both try to please Louis and then they end up shifting too.”   
            “It was suggested by our therapist,” Harry says slowly, “that we add an omega.  Three alphas and all that.”   
Liam might choke a bit at that.   
            “Three of you?  Like…constantly?”   
            “We try to maintain two,” Zayn says.  “But I’ve never,” he lifts one shoulder in a shrug.   
Yeah Liam gets that.   
“So the rest have to share it.  It uh – hasn’t been the smoothest.”   
            “No,” Liam agrees.   
You wouldn’t really have to be told that he doesn’t think. 

            “I don’t um,” Liam’s already blushing quite hard even thinking about this, “well I was – I was thinking of going off my suppressants?  It’s not good for you to take them so intensively I guess and I thought it would be like…simpler if one of you would be willing to work me through it or like more than one I don’t – I’m not sure but I don’t think that would work with three alphas?”   
They’re both staring at him and Liam stares at the potted plant over by the sliding glass door.   
“Not immediately,” he adds lamely.   
            “No that’s – we can definitely,” Zayn coughs, “we can discuss that.”   
Harry’s nodding emphatically in Liam’s peripheral vision.   
Liam resists burying his face in his hands.  Barely.   
            “I’ll be a beta,” Harry says, “and so will Niall.  And Zayn’s the alpha obviously.  I think it should be easy for Louis to shift into alpha if we leave the room for him like.”   
            “Okay,” Liam says, glad they’re off the subject of his heats. 

            “The thing is,” Zayn says, even though he’s already said that, “is Lou is a bit prickly.”   
Harry hums sagely at that.   
“He’s not happy about you coming,” he specifies.  “He told us to do it so Ni went along but it’s one of those…Lou gave us permission hoping that we wouldn’t do it like a reverse psychology thing and we know that we’re used to him by now but this is what the doctor said we should do so we went ahead and did it anyway…”   
            “Does he know I’m here?”   
Zayn and Harry share another long look.   
Liam swallows.   
            “We’re sorry Li,” Harry says, earnest.  “Well we just – I just – sort of hoped he’d see you and love you.  Like we did.”   
Liam makes a quiet choked off noise at that.   
            “I don’t – ” he tries, “I’m not…I don’t think that’s gonna work,” he says.   
It sounds better than _I have the face of a pug’s arse_ at least.   

            “It might,” Harry protests, “you’re very fit Liam.  So big too…are you sure you’re an omega?”   
Liam laughs at that, rolling his eyes.   
            “Yeah, I’m sure.”   
            “But your arms,” Harry adds, eyeing him up and down.   
            “I box,” Liam explains, still blushing hotly.   
The next moment he’s got a lapful of Harry, who tips his chin up to kiss him before taking hold of both his wrists and pinning them down to the couch on either side of his thighs.   
Liam struggles a bit – mostly in shock – but Harry’s a lot stronger than he looks.   
The panic passes and Liam melts into the kiss.   
He’s never been kissed like this before.

Harry’s a slow domination, tongue sweeping in like it belongs there and barely leaving Liam room to gasp for air.   
He tugs on his wrists again – just to feel Harry hold him.   
            “We have to,” he gasps out, “we have to stop.  I don’t want to,” he pauses, wondering how red his face is, “um I don’t want to leak on your sofa.”   
Harry lifts up a bit, sighing at him.   
            “How wet d’you get?” he asks, casually.  “Like lube wet or like slip n’ slide wet?”   
            “Oh god,” Liam manages.  “I don’t – um I don’t know.”  
Why are they even asking that?  Maybe they’ve had the same thought he’s had the _not now but later_ thought.  Or maybe they really are worried over the sofa.      
            “Been a while?” Zayn asks, like he understands.   
Liam tries to lift his hands to cross his arms, stilling when Harry pouts at him.   
Harry loosens his grip but Liam leaves his hands where they are.   
            “I’ve only had one heat,” Liam explains haltingly.  “And that’s not like…normal.  So.”

            “Oh,” Harry says after a beat.   
He climbs off Liam then – twisting his fingers together.   
“I’m being awfully forward, aren’t I?  I’m sorry Liam.”   
            “It’s okay,” Liam says, automatically.  He puts on a brave face and then attempts a smile.   
Harry and Zayn share another look and Liam can’t even decide if he wants to know what they’re thinking or not.   
            “We don’t want to go faster than you’re ready for Liam.  We want this to work.”   
            “Me too,” Liam admits.   
Harry leans down and pecks his cheek carefully.   
            “I’ll behave,” he says. 

For some reason that feels even more intimate than Harry sprawled in his lap.   
Liam can’t manage a response – nor can he stop himself from smiling.   
He feels a childish urge to lift his fingertips up to his cheek but he manages not to.   
He’s going to have to get used to this now he realizes.  These boys are going to be touching him and flirting with him and Liam can’t really think beyond that because he still doesn’t want to leak on the sofa.   
            “Oh you must be hungry,” Harry says suddenly.  “Traveling all day and we haven’t even offered to feed you.  We’re not this awful Liam, I promise.”   
He half turned and then half turned again.   
“I’ll make dinner then.”   
            “I can help,” Liam says.   
He pauses getting off the sofa as they both look to him.   
“Unless…Zayn usually does that?” 

Harry laughs gleefully at that, half covering his mouth as his cheeks pink up.   
            “No,” he says.  “Niall usually, but he’s not here.  Come along then.”   
Harry crosses back to him and grabs his hand before pulling him up and tugging him toward the kitchen.       

The kitchen is as lovely as the rest of the flat and Liam tries not to look around like a boy in a candy store.   
All the fixtures practically gleam under the lights and it’s a far cry from the painted yellow cabinets of his mum’s kitchen.   
            “D’you like cooking Liam?” Harry asks him, moving to the fridge and poking his head inside.   
            “I bake with my mum sometimes,” Liam explains.  “I follow instructions really well.”   
Harry glances at him shortly, smirking.   
            “I’ll bet you do,” he says.   
Liam’s not sure why but he blushes at that. 

Harry tells rambling stories as they cook, Zayn interjecting from one of the stools every so often.   
Liam learns that Harry was Zayn’s barista and Zayn was Niall’s bartender.  Louis was Niall’s roommate and when Harry, Zayn, and Niall started seeing each other, even against advisement from basically everyone they knew, Louis had loudly declared that they weren’t doing this fuckup without him.   
Well – he was right.   
Liam’s not too sure what they all were at the beginning, he thinks they were all alphas except Niall.   
And that’s kind of amazing. 

Three alphas in one relationship is a bit to wrap his head around.  They’ve been together nearly eight months and Liam doesn’t understand how it works.   
He supposes he’ll have to see them all together before he even has a hope of understanding but it still seems a bit mad to him.   
There’s probably a reason that Louis shifted down to omega.   
Only Liam’s not sure how much adding him will help.  What if it throws off the entire group dynamic?  It’s not like four boys are going to want him around all the time.   
Even if it sort of seems like Zayn and Harry do.   
But they’re probably just being nice.   
Or they just want an omega period.   
It’s not like they really want _him_. 

Liam bites down on his lip for a moment.   
It’s not like he doesn’t want to be wanted.  
Only – wouldn’t someone have wanted him by now?   
It wasn’t as if he could go through his entire adolescence without a date and suddenly meet four boys that all want to add him into their relationship and have him move in.    
As much as he’s trying not to worry about how this is all going to work out – he mostly can’t help it.   
It’s just a business arrangement – he knows.   
Only Liam’s a bit worried.  More than a bit. 

It’s only well Liam’s shy.  And he wants to feel like he belongs rather desperately.   
He knows that it’s not specifically because he’s an omega that he’s like this – it has more to do with his personality.   
There’s omegas out there that don’t need to be in a relationship at all.  Maybe it seemed like Liam was one of them but honestly Liam hated being alone.   
Even if this relationship was only because he was an omega and it actually didn’t include sex, it would be nice to feel wanted.  Maybe to hold someone’s hand.  Have someone kiss his cheek.   
Maybe those things aren’t off limits.   
And maybe it’s not that they want Liam.  But maybe Liam’s just in the right place at the right time.   
That’s possible – isn’t it?   

…

Zayn’s already home by the time Louis makes it through the door – Niall just behind him.   
The flat smells delicious and first Louis attributes this to Harry in the kitchen but a moment later Louis realizes Harry’s not alone in the kitchen.   
Harry’s talking, words long and slow, and there’s someone laughing at him.   
Zayn looks guilty enough, shoulders tense as he won’t meet Louis’ eyes, for Louis to realize what’s happened.   
            “You bastard,” Louis bites out.   
            “We voted,” Zayn says immediately, pushing to his feet and holding a hand out to Louis – as if to stop him from heading for the kitchen. 

_Fuck that_ Louis thinks.   
He darts to the right, turning to look into the kitchen and jerking to a stop.   
            “You actually did it,” he manages, “you actually went and got an omega.”   
Silence falls sharply in the kitchen and at least Harry has the decency to look guilty too.   
“I can’t believe this,” Louis bites out next.      
He ignores Niall’s steadying hand on his ribs.  
“What, _saucyomegas.com_?”     
The omega doesn’t say anything at all.  He just watches Louis with these dumb wide brown eyes – warily, like Louis is a wild animal or something.   
Louis wants to throttle him.  He wants to drag him down to the floor and smother him with his bare hands or do _something_ until he wipes that awful look off his face. 

            “ _Matesformates.com_ , actually,” Zayn says.   
Louis doesn’t look at him.   
He can’t.   
Because he already knows what Zayn will look like, his jaw locked up tight and his eyes smoldering.   
Louis can’t look at him and maintain this steady thrum of anger. 

Zayn never used to look at him like that.  
They’ve never fought like this.

He just wants everything to pause a moment so he can think.  
More than that though Louis wants him to not be here.   
He wants him to not have to be here.   
“Just because some stuffy old woman said so,” Louis continues suddenly.  “She doesn’t even know _us_.  And she didn’t even think that we could be together.  So why are we following her advice?”   
            “Because we voted,” Harry says.   
His lips are turned down sadly but Louis refuses to feel bad for him.  
            “Because we’re worried about you,” Zayn adds from behind them.   
            “Oh fuck right off.  I’m fine.”  He takes a quick, deep breath.  “I’ve been fine.”   
No one says anything again.   
The silence is awful. 

Louis feels like the last priority suddenly.  
A joke.  
A placeholder.   

            “Are you just going to stand there?” Louis demands, glaring at the omega simply because he’s the easiest target in the room.  “Introduce yourself for god’s sakes.”   
            “’M Liam,” the boy says, unbearably quiet for how big he is.  “From Wolverhampton.”   
            “Fascinating,” Louis snips.  “And why are you here?”   
            “Because I want to go to uni,” Liam says next, looking down to his feet.  “And you wanted an omega.”   
            “I certainly did not,” Louis says – because he can.   
            “You,” Liam says again, only a bit firmer, “them – you as a group.  However it works.”   
            “Bought and paid for.”     
He looks stricken and Louis plows on.  
“How much does an omega virginity run for these days?”  
            “Lou,” Zayn warns.   
            “What?  Not polite conversation or not a virgin?”   
            “Louis,” Harry says next.   
            “Not a virgin,” Louis decides aloud.  He clicks his tongue.  “Omegas these days.”   
Another strained beat of silence.   
            “Maybe we should eat out, Lou,” Niall says. 

He really has gone too far if Niall is saying something.   
Louis knows this well.  
What he doesn’t know is how to stop.   
            “Good thing you’re not fucking him lads – don’t know where he’s been, do we?”   
            “Louis!” Zayn and Harry yell at the same time.   
It would be impressive in another situation.   
            “Don’t worry, oh alphas mine,” Louis says, batting his eyelashes.  “Niall and I will be dining out this evening.”   
He takes Niall firmly by the elbow then and all but yanks him out the door.   
If Louis hears a faint, wounded,  
            “I thought you said a _bit_ prickly?”  
it’s not really his problem. 

The next day is better – and worse.   
Louis doesn’t speak to Liam and Liam doesn’t speak to him.   
Though Harry and Zayn aren’t speaking to him either, and there certainly weren’t morning cuddles earlier, but Louis can’t just back down.   
He knows they’re angry and well, he is too.   
  
They knew he didn’t really want them to go get an omega.   
Wouldn’t they understand how useless and invalidated that made him feel?   
Even if he didn’t want to be an omega he currently was their omega and they’d replaced him.   
Niall’s mostly staying quiet on the issue which is what he usually does when there’s a group disagreement.   
It bothers Louis a bit more this time though. 

Maybe some actual support would be nice.  Maybe it would make him feel good enough.   
Louis knows Niall is loyal to him – they’ve been together the longest – and Louis also knows that he takes advantage of this fairly frequently.   
This time though…  
Maybe Louis is more worried over the fact that he might be the only one that doesn’t actually want Liam here.   
If that is the case then what’s to stop them from actually replacing him with Liam?  
It’s not like any of them really _need_ Louis.  It’s not like Louis is easy to love either.   
He knows he’s difficult.  Probably the most difficult of all of them.   
But maybe that’s why he feels like he doesn’t belong here.  
   
Harry and Niall are both lovers and it’s so easy to love them back when they’re constantly giving you warmth and human sunshine and laughing at your shitty jokes because they know it makes you feel good.   
And even Zayn – Zayn can be so perfect when Louis just needs to be quiet and serious.  Even if it’s rare those moments feel like a breath of air after breaking the surface of the ocean – respite from everything else.   
Liam didn’t try to fight him at all.  Didn’t even look like he was thinking of snapping back at Louis.   
Liam was like a doormat – when attacked at least.   
  
And Louis understood that.   
Harry was much the same way.   
Niall would just walk away and come back later with a different topic or maybe a pint.   
Zayn was the only one that would snap back and even then you had to push and push and push.   
It’s not like Louis wants someone to put him in his place.   
He definitely doesn’t.   
Just sometimes he thinks it might be simpler. 

It _seems_ simpler when he’s an omega.   
Even though he knows the alphas he’s with are far from the traditional types you hear about.  
If Louis had some three hundred pound muscle head breathing down his neck for smiling at a pretty girl he’d tear his hair out.   
Or tear the alpha’s hair out – either way.   
The idea of it alone put a sneer on his face and all Louis wanted to do was act out more and more.   
Like the last straw before a child fully throws itself into a temper tantrum. 

It’s part of Louis’ charm – that he’s unpredictable.  Spontaneous and hard to control.   
He’s not unaware of these traits.   
And really he should be working harder to make this relationship work.   
Everyone’s counting on them to fail and by all accounts they should.   
Louis is so grateful for these boys and at this point he’s not sure anymore what he would do without them.   
They see past the attitude and the laughs and the self-depreciation and seem to love him anyway and really Louis should be holding on to all of them with both hands and probably his thighs too.  
Only the more he thinks about how he’s not trying hard enough and he’s probably not doing well enough the more he starts to panic and the more outlandish things he starts to do.   
It’s not like he can say _I’m scared you’ll leave me_.   
That’s just stupid, isn’t it? 

Louis isn’t sure how he would admit that, if he even wanted to.   
How would you say a thing like that?   
This far into it?   
Didn’t even make sense.   
Louis was almost completely sure that he was the only one of these four boys that went to sleep more often than not wondering if he would still be there the next night.   
They all just seemed to _know_ in a way that Louis didn’t.   
  
He knew he loved them.  
And he was mostly sure they loved him too.  Mostly.  Almost totally.   
But it wasn’t like – well it wasn’t definite fact.  It just wasn’t something he knew with absolute certainty like _gravity holds us down_ or _we need air to breathe_.  It wasn’t something as obvious as that.  It was more like _the sky is blue_ or _the stars are above us_.  More like sometimes the sky is blue but sometimes it’s red or black or purple.  And sometimes the stars are above but sometimes they’re below the earth or so far out that you can’t even see that they’ve already died and left you behind.   

It’s stupid.  
It is.   
And he always feels stupid when he starts thinking about all of this mess.   
It’s just – he thought his father loved him.  
He thought his father loved his mother.   
And one day he was there – Louis went to sleep knowing he was there.   
Knowing he was there and knowing he loved them like he knew the air that he breathed.   
Only the next day he wasn’t there.  He wasn’t there and he couldn’t have loved them.   
And Louis didn’t really know what was holding him down anymore – if anything was.   
Because for months at a time it felt like he was floating.  Like maybe he was asleep or dead or buried already.   
And Louis has worked _so hard_ to get past all that.   
It’s been years and years of work and loving his mother and his baby sisters and letting them love him back and he’s let these boys in too.   
But how do they love him?   
Like the air in their lungs or like the color of the sky? 

Maybe their therapist is right.   
Maybe you can’t make a relationship with four boys work.  Especially with three alphas.   
And then it hits him.   
If the therapist is right about that then she can’t be right about Liam.   
Which means if she’s right about Liam then she can’t be right about them not working.   
So maybe Harry and Zayn need an omega.   
Maybe _he_ needs an omega.   
That thought is a bit strange to be sure.   
But maybe…they really did do this to help him?   
Flawed as it was.   
And if he’s not the omega, then Liam isn’t replacing him at all. 

It’s a lot of uncertainty but Louis hasn’t really had certainty since he was eight years old.   
Maybe he could just not hate Liam.   
Louis wonders over that for a moment.   
He doesn’t have fun making Liam feel like shit after all.   
And if Liam isn’t replacing him then it’s not Liam vs. him and maybe he can just…not hate Liam.   
_Baby steps_ Louis reminds himself. 

Harry and Liam have gone out shopping – Louis isn’t sure for what, as they’re not speaking with him – and Niall’s at work.   
That leaves Zayn and him in the flat.   
Louis putters around the living room for a few more minutes, taking books off the shelf and flipping through them before shoving them back in a different cubby.   
He’s not entirely sure if anyone’s organized them – or even attempted it – and he doesn’t care at the moment either way.   
Once he’s completely done with that Louis wanders toward the bedroom.   
He knows he could chicken out and just pretend he’s come in for a shower or maybe just to dress. 

Or he can talk to Zayn.   
Even as Louis is opening the door and stepping into the room he’s not really sure what he’s going to do.   
Only Zayn looks right at him as he’s coming in and Louis wasn’t really expecting that.   
He was more expecting the cool silent treatment that Zayn was so _flawless_ at.   
But this wasn’t it.   
Zayn had looked up from his book and he’s just watching Louis – expression already closed off like he’s ready for a fight.   
Louis falls limp like tissue in the rain.  
            “Zee,” he says, mouth twisting down.   
            “What d’you want Lou?” 

Louis moves towards the bed, towards him.   
He hates feeling like he needs permission to do so, curling it down in his gut and forcing his feet forward anyway.   
            “I’m sorry,” Louis says, getting a knee on the bed and crawling in.   
            “Really,” Zayn says.   
The word is flat, like he’s expecting a trap.   
Louis nods rather than answering.   
            “It’s hard for me,” Louis adds when that doesn’t seem like enough.  “Being like this.”   
            “I know,” Zayn tells him. 

There’s just several minutes of silence.  Several horrible minutes.   
This is why Louis hates coming to Zayn like this – because the fucker just sits there and makes you keep spitting up your feelings until you both feel better and it’s not painful for him at _all_ and Louis feels like he might as well be tugging his organs out from behind his teeth.   
            “You don’t understand,” he says finally.  “You’ve never switched.  And like – it’s like.  When there’s too many alphas it’s just like hot.  Hot buzzing behind your ears and at the back of your throat and you have to do something – change or leave.  And it was like that but worse.  Because there was nowhere for me to go.  There’s nothing after omega is there?  Nothing at all.  And there’s so – being an omega is so terrifying Zayn.  It’s like I don’t know anything anymore.  It’s like I have to depend on all of you to tell me which way is up and I hate it.”   
Louis fists both hands in the sheets and _forces_ himself to stop talking – horrified at how hot his face is.   
This is the most awful thing. 

It’s too quiet in the room now and all Louis can think about is coming home last night and seeing that boy in his kitchen with his boyfriend.   
            “God will you just-” he chokes out before Zayn lays a hand on top of his.   
            “Hush,” Zayn says.   
As far gone as he is Louis is grateful for this, letting himself fall forward onto the mattress and burying his face in a pillow.   
Zayn squeezes the back of his neck.   
“Thank you for telling me.”  
            “Fuck off.”   
Louis has no idea if Zayn can hear him or not and he doesn’t really care.   
            “I didn’t think you’d see it like that,” Zayn says next.   
They’re lying closer – Zayn’s lips almost at his ear.   
“Like we were trying to replace you.”   
There’s a pause.   
“We aren’t,” Zayn says.  “You know we couldn’t.” 

Louis squirms enough to look at him with one eye.   
            “Pretty hard to find another me,” he sighs.   
Zayn grins at him so quick it’s only a flash of white.   
            “Yeah.”   
            “I’m sorry,” Louis says again.   
            “I know,” Zayn whispers.   
For that moment it seems like a secret just between the two of them.   
Zayn leans closer and brushes a kiss to the corner of Louis’ mouth.   
It’s probably all he can reach but it’s lovely just the same.   
Louis doesn’t think he would mind laying here the rest of the day.   
“Y’have to tell Liam too,” Zayn says, drawing back enough to look at Louis seriously.   
Louis groans and buries himself in Zayn’s side, leaving the pillow behind. 

…

It’s tentative, the peace they’ve achieved.   
Liam’s grateful for it nonetheless and there’s no way he’s going to do anything to rock the boat.   
Uni classes start next week and between that and trying to find a part time job close to the flat he’s got his plate full.   
He also hasn’t gone on a run lately and all the pent up energy is starting to get to him.   
Really they all barely make it out of dinner alive the way Liam’s knee is jerking under the table and threatening to vibrate the entire thing.   
            “Honestly,” Louis finally snaps, obviously reining himself back in.   
This only makes Liam feel worse.   
“Are you alright?”   
Only to Liam it sounds more like _are you mentally ill?_

            “I just,” Liam pauses to scratch at his ear, “I usually go on runs every morning and I haven’t been able to because I don’t know my way around yet and I don’t want to get lost.”   
He focuses carefully on his plate.   
            “Well why didn’t you just say that?” Louis asks, tone thankfully much lighter.  “Harry runs sometimes.  He can take you.”   
Liam looks to Harry after a moment.   
            “Yeah?”   
Harry nods at that, smiling easily.   
            “Sure Liam.  Tomorrow?”   
It’s such a relief for Liam.  He likes routines.   
            “Thanks,” he says, “yeah.  Perfect.”   
            “Alright, eat your dinner,” Louis says, “keep your strength up.”   
            “Yeah,” Liam agrees to that too, sort of helplessly happy.  “Thanks Louis.” 

Louis looks particularly shocked at that and Liam doesn’t look around to see if anyone else is.   
He goes back to his dinner instead. 

The next morning Liam is _so_ ready.   
Only he doesn’t know how to wake Harry without waking everyone.   
They all share the master bedroom down the hall from his room.   
Liam paces outside their door for a few minutes before finally working up the courage to knock carefully.   
            “Harry?” he tries, “You awake?”   
There’s not much noise, maybe a snuffle.   
“Harry?” Liam tries again – as loud as he dares.   
Another moment of silence and then a rather loud yelp followed by an even louder thump.   
            “G’up Hazza,” someone mumbles, sounding strangely like Louis, “take your omega for his walk.”   
Definitely Louis then.   
Still, Liam is endeared.  At least a little. 

The door cracks open and Harry’s pale face pokes out.   
            “Hey Liam,” he offers, clearing his throat.  “Let me have a wee and get dressed.  Be right out.”   
He finishes up with a wink which makes Liam’s tummy do a funny little wriggle.   
Liam does his very best to ignore that. 

When Harry makes it out he’s got his hair pulled up in an adorable bun and he’s wearing neon trainers.   
Liam thinks he’s endeared by Harry too.   
            “Hi,” Liam offers.  Stupidly.   
Harry laughs at him.   
            “Hi,” he says.  “Ready?”   
            “Yeah,” Liam nods, grinning.  “Thanks.”   
            “Should be thanking you,” Harry says as he grabs his keys and they head for the door.  “Can barely get my arse out of bed to do this anymore.”   
            “Well you’re settled down with three fit lads,” Liam says.  “Makes sense to let yourself go.”   
Harry frowns at him – like it’s too early for him to decide how to react to that.   
            “Makes sense,” he says finally, nodding.   
Liam can’t help but giggle at him a little. 

By the time they get back Niall’s in the kitchen – at least Liam assumes he is by the way the entire flat smells.   
            “Ni, Liam’s trying to kill me,” Harry whines.   
            “I said you didn’t have to keep up,” Liam says in his own defense.   
            “How can I let you run in the wrong direction?”  
            “As I recall we both ran in the wrong direction.”   
            “If Harry stayed on his feet the entire time,” Louis says from the couch, “I’d count it a win.”   
He glances up from his book.   
Neither of them say anything to that and he smirks before going back to it.   
            “Louis,” Harry whines next, “Liam’s impossible.  A machine, like.”   
He walks toward the couch slowly, opening his arms like he’s going to climb right in Louis’ lap – book be damned.   
            “Don’t you dare,” Louis says, glaring at him.  “Go shower.  Now.” 

Maybe it’s bad that Liam can already picture the way Harry’s pouting without seeing his face.   
It probably is.   
            “You too Liam,” Louis says, shocking Liam out of his thoughts.   
He blushes – for no reason really.   
            “Yeah,” he says.  “Alright.”   
Louis looks pleased enough at that and Liam wonders if that’s all it takes to keep him happy.   
Seems easy enough.

Liam’s so happy.   
He’s happy and calm and he’s maybe five minutes into his shower before he realizes he’s hard.   
It takes a long few moments for him to decide what to do.   
Because it’s not like they won’t know what he’s done in here if he comes out reeking of the pheremonal satisfaction only orgasms can bring.   
But they’re not gonna shag him…it’s not like he owes them anything.   
It’s not like having a quick wank in the shower isn’t normal.   
He washes his stomach for a bit longer, letting his fingers trail lower and lower as he teases himself. 

But the past few days have been enough of a tease he thinks.   
The way Zayn and Harry look at him sometimes.   
It’s difficult to describe.  Even harder to ignore.   
And now, as Liam wraps a hand around his cock – every look and touch is only fuel.   
His chest is tight already and Liam loses his patience for teasing very quickly.   
Bracing his left hand against the cool tile he lets his head drop down, letting most of his body relax as he keeps working his hand over his cock. 

He’s not sure the last time he did this.   
The last time he wasn’t worried about someone smelling it on him.   
It’s been months probably.   
Liam bites back on a groan at the thought of that.   
His tongue feels heavy and too big for his mouth.   
There’s a surge of wet down between his legs but he ignores it, refuses to abandon his cock in order to slip a finger or two inside.   
Touching himself there would only make it worse he thinks.   
This is okay – he can tell himself that this is all he needs.   
Fingers just makes him want to get fucked. 

Liam thinks about getting a dildo for himself for a moment.   
Thinks about working himself open with two fingers and actually having something bigger to slide inside.   
A whimper breaks across his lips and Liam’s gripping himself that much tighter, fingers scrabbling against the tile.   
He needs _more_.   
It’s not safe to think beyond a dildo – not safe to think about actually getting fucked.  
So he doesn’t.  
Instead Liam thinks about that dildo and what it would feel like sliding into him.  He thinks about getting one with a suction cup at the base so he can put it on the wall right here in this shower and just slide back onto it. 

The idea is…impossible to describe.   
It’s impossible to understand how badly he needs it in that moment.   
How badly he needs any release at all with what’s happened to him so far.   
Going through heat in the school locker room with a guy that didn’t like you at all wasn’t exactly a pleasant experience.   
Liam needs to stop thinking about that.   
It could have been worse.  It could have been one of the guys that used to push him around.  It could have been someone that would have gotten off on the power they had over him while he was weak with hormones and need.   
So no – it wasn’t romantic.  No, Liam never wants to experience sex that way again.   
But it could have been worse. 

And he’s done thinking about it now.   
All he’s thinking about his the slickness of his hand on his cock and how amazing it would be to have that dildo.   
To be able to properly take care of himself for once.   
Liam whines again, nostrils flaring out as he struggles to drag air back in.   
He wants that though.  He wants to feel strong on his own and be in control of his own pleasure.   
It might be that more than anything else that finally works his orgasm out of him, muscles clenching and releasing painfully as he spurts on to the tile in front of him. 

The water surges around his head as he ducks under and stands just slightly stooped under the spray.   
He brings a hand to the bridge of his nose so he can breathe and relaxes down into his body.   
For the longest time he just breathes.  
He feels stretched out and put back together and nearly perfect.   
He’s not – he knows.  But he’ll deal with that in a bit.   
First he needs to finish enjoying this. 

…

Louis doesn’t smell it until Liam sits at the table.   
He doesn’t think any of them do.   
But one moment he Harry and Niall are all sitting calmly and the next they’re all sitting up – muscles taut as they take in Liam again.   
            “Oh god,” Liam says, looking down as his entire face flushes pink.  “Erm…sorry?”   
            “It’s alright,” Harry says but he’s leaning away slightly.   
He flicks a glance to Louis and something in Louis answers the alpha in that gaze.   
Louis can’t control it or pull it back which he supposes is fine because he’s never wanted to before. 

It’s not a physical change but it feels a bit like spinning in circles until you’re ready to vom.   
Louis’ ears are ringing and all he can look at is Harry.   
Like he’s worried about what Harry’s going to do.   
Which is ridiculous because obviously Harry’s not getting any closer to Liam.   
He’s not going to touch him.   
Louis slaps a hand on the table, dropping his fork at some point.   
He forces his eyes closed and exhales sharply.   
            “I might be sick,” he says.   
It feels like it’s been five minutes.  Maybe ten.   
Louis has no idea how long it’s actually been. 

He throws his body back, chair scraping over the floor as he dives toward the kitchen and voms half on the counter and half in the sink.   
Niall’s right behind him, already running water into the sink and grabbing a glass off the drying rack.   
            “Alright?” he asks urgently.   
Louis can’t answer as another thin stream of bile surges up his throat and into the sink.   
            “Fuck,” he coughs out.  “Never happened like that before.”   
He coughs a few more times before accepting the glass of water from Niall.   
            “Alright?” Niall asks again. 

Louis nods, swishing the water around his teeth before spitting it out.   
He drains the glass and groans at the taste before pushing himself into a more vertical position.   
            “You okay for me to come in?” Harry asks.  
He’s watching him from the edge of the kitchen and it takes Louis a second to realize why.   
            “Yeah,” he says.  “Yeah I’m good.”   
Harry crosses to him in giant steps on his giant legs and they’re kissing barely a moment later.   
Louis pushes him off.   
“Harry,” he groans.  “I’ve literally just vommed all over the counter can you-”  
            “I don’t care,” Harry says.  “The way you were looking at me – that was awful Lou.”   
            “I’m sorry,” Louis says.  He means it.   
            “You taste awful,” Harry says next.   
His smile is wobbly and Louis grabs hold of his hand.   
            “I’m good Haz.” 

            “Um,” Liam says from the edge of the kitchen.  “Is everything alright?”   
            “We’re fine,” Louis tells him.  “I just normally make a brief stop at beta before shooting all the way to alpha.”   
            “Oh you – oh.”  Liam’s mouth trembles.  “I’m sorry.”   
            “It’s alright Liam,” Harry says, leaning on Louis’ shoulder.  “That’s what you’re here for innit.  Just a learning curve.”   
            “Learning curve,” Louis huffs in agreement. 

Still – it’s nice to be alpha again.   
Louis doesn’t even really mind the thought that he wants to pin Liam against a wall and kiss him until he’s begging to be fucked.   
He’d look beautiful begging Louis thinks.   
Maybe Louis hadn’t exactly seen that coming. 

Louis never really realized how difficult it is to be an alpha around an omega that you’re not supposed to be touching.   
He’s not sure how Harry cuddles so effortlessly with Liam.   
Or how Zayn will just casually touch him – a hand to his elbow or scratching fingers through his hair.   
Louis’ a bit terrified to touch Liam now.  He’s mostly certain he’d want more than whatever Liam was willing to give him.   
And that’s alright – even if Louis has never had the best self-control.   
It’s not a big deal.   
Liam’s at classes a lot and Louis goes out just so he’s not trapped in the flat and really they’re not seeing too much of each other. 

But then Wednesday morning happens.   
Niall’s at work and Harry’s shopping with a friend.  Zayn’s still asleep, of course, and Louis is barely awake but managing to have a cuppa on the couch.   
Liam comes back from his run, the mail tucked under one hand.   
He tosses the pile onto the coffee table and disappears into the kitchen.   
Louis idly pokes through the envelopes.   
            “Oi!  Li, you got something,” Louis calls to him.   
He settles back into the couch, satisfied that there’s nothing he wants to open.   
            “Really?” Liam pokes his head out to ask. 

Louis rolls his eyes.   
            “No I’m taking the piss because I have nothing better to do.”   
It takes Liam a moment to work out that Louis is being sarcastic.   
Louis sighs.      
            “Huh,” Liam lets out.   
He comes back with a glass of water in hand and settles in one of the chairs.   
Louis nudges the envelope towards him with a finger – probably more curious over what’s inside than Liam is. 

Liam takes a long swallow of water, which Louis doesn’t watch _thank you_ , and exchanges his water for the envelope.   
It’s a thick envelope – probably holding a greeting card of some sort.   
Liam starts smiling as he scans the front.   
            “C’mon,” Louis whines, “open it.”   
Liam rolls his eyes at that but he’s still smiling so Louis counts it as a win.   
He tears into the flap and pulls out a bright floral card – Louis was right he so wins.   
  
As he opens the card Liam’s eyes go comically wide as a few notes slip out.   
            “It’s from my granddad,” Liam explains slowly.   
His entire expression has changed now, it’s almost reverent as he takes the card in again.   
“He sent me some money to help with uni.”   
            “That’s nice then,” Louis says, scanning the money on the floor.   
Liam does the same after a moment, gasping.   
            “He sent so much!”   
He looks back to Louis with wide eyes.   
Almost as if this is a joke or like he’s expecting Louis to do something.   
Louis lifts his shoulder and lets it drop.  He takes another swallow of tea.   
            “That’s great Liam, proper nice of him.” 

Liam bends down to pick up the money.   
He slides it back into the card and closes it slowly.   
Then he sits for a few moments with the card in hand, the torn envelope still sitting on his thigh.  Once he’s done with that he puts the card back in the envelope and puts it carefully on the coffee table.   
Louis is trying not to frown as he watches him but Liam’s acting strange and Louis is a little scared for whatever is about to happen.   
            “I have enough for my laptop,” Liam says.  His voice is really thick and Louis actually starts to panic on the edges of his brain.      
            “You don’t have a laptop?” he asks – still panicking.   
Liam just shakes his head and lets out something that sounds suspiciously like a sniffle.   
“Alright Liam?” Louis asks after a few moments of hesitation.   
Liam shakes his head again.   
_Oh god_ Louis manages to think. 

            “Don’t cry,” Louis says.  “Don’t – here.  Come over here, sit with me.”   
            “Okay,” Liam says and he’s practically crushing Louis into the cushions within three seconds, spilling Louis’ tea all over the couch.   
Louis curses quickly but keeps a hand on Liam’s back anyway.   
“’M sorry,” Liam mumbles and he’s definitely crying now.   
            “You’re alright,” Louis says.  “It’s okay.  Everything is alright.”   
Louis strains forward and manages to sneak his tea onto the table before sitting back again.   
For a few moments Louis doesn’t know what to do with Liam half in his lap.   
Finally he wraps his arm more firmly around Liam’s middle and slides his other hand into Liam’s hair, rubbing his scalp gently. 

He has no idea how long they sit there, Liam crying in his arms.   
All Louis can think of is the heavy feeling in his chest – pushing him to take care of Liam and make sure he’s happy and safe.   
He wonders a bit vaguely when all of this happened.  When did Liam get this far under his skin?   
More than that, what is Louis going to do now? 

…

Zayn shuffles out of the bedroom before Liam’s managed to pull himself together.   
            “Hey,” he offers, blinking at them a few times.  “What happened?” he demands next, sounding much more alert.  “Lou, what did you do?”   
Louis tenses underneath Liam at that.   
            “I didn’t do anything,” he hisses.  “Liam’s happy crying, aren’t you Li?”   
Liam does his best to wipe away his tears and nods.   
            “’M okay,” he manages, sniffling again.   
            “Don’t bully him Louis I thought we were past this-”  
            “We are,” Louis says.  “We both just told you, aren’t you listening?” 

            “Liam’s crying!” Zayn yells.  “Why’s he crying?”   
            “Because his granddad sent him money, you tit!”   
Louis’ hands slip away from Liam then and he’s squirming to get out from under.   
            “No,” Liam manages, “don’t fight.”   
He’s scrambling right after Louis, struggling his way between the two alphas before anything can happen.   
“Please don’t fight,” Liam repeats, bunching down on himself in case they start throwing punches. 

There’s a tense moment of silence and then another.   
            “You hit alpha again,” Zayn says finally.   
            “Yes,” Louis says.   
He slips a hand against Liam’s lower back and Liam lets himself relax a bit, glancing up at Zayn.   
            “I forgot,” Zayn admits.  “Put me on edge.  Sorry.”   
Zayn takes Liam’s cheek in hand next, pressing a kiss to his forehead.  
“Sorry to you too Li, didn’t mean to scare you.”   
            “It’s okay.  I’m being silly,” Liam admits, his cheeks heating.

            “You aren’t,” Louis says softly.   
Liam’s not really sure what to do with that.   
“Why don’t we go look at some laptops then?  Zayn can have a bit of breakfast and calm down, hm?”   
            “Really?” Liam says, “Right now?”   
He turns to look at Louis, Louis’ hand slipping away.   
They all separate slowly and Liam feels a bit colder but does his best to ignore that.   
He’s these boys companion – that’s it.   
            “Well I have to get dressed,” Louis teases before running a hand through his hair.  “But yeah, why not?  Making big purchases is a big decision and we should look around before deciding anything.  We should look around before _you_ decide anything,” he emphasizes.    
  
It’s nice then – that change.   
Making sure that Liam knows that this is his decision.   
Even if he would buy whatever Louis told him to.   
Embarrassingly enough Liam feels more tears pool in his eyes.     
            “Okay,” Liam says.  “I’ll get dressed too.”   
He covers his face a moment and breathes.   
“Be right back,” he allows before dropping his hands and rushing to his room. 

It’s quiet in the flat and Liam imagines Zayn’s in the kitchen finding something to eat as they both dress.   
He doesn’t know how to feel about today.   
More than that he doesn’t know how to feel about Louis today.   
It’s not like things have been that bad between them – they haven’t.  Not since that first night and it’s been getting steadily better since then.   
But now it seems like Louis almost likes him.  Like he wants to help take care of Liam.   
Liam’s not sure he wants that.   
This is a business arrangement.  It’s supposed to just be a business arrangement. 

It can’t be more than that he reasons, because Zayn and Louis almost fought just now and it was only over Liam crying.   
They weren’t sleeping together, not even close to that.  
Liam doesn’t think it’s much possible for three alphas to share one omega.   
It probably isn’t.   
Though he didn’t think it was possible for three alphas to be in a relationship and they’d been proving him wrong the last few days.   
  
Liam’s not sure what he feels because he can’t quite decide what to do about this.   
The thing about being in a relationship with so many other people, and it is a relationship even if it’s only friendship, is that so much of what happens is out of your control.   
What happens with all of them depends on these four boys and how they react to him, as well as how he reacts to them and it’s just not possible to plan out what to do.   
Liam supposes that all he can do is do his best to keep them from fighting and do his best to stop himself from having feelings for all of them.   
He’s not really part of them.  He’s just…a guest.   
Wouldn’t do to go falling in love with any of them.

Liam feels a bit better now that he has a sort of plan and he washes his face and neck before going in search of new clothes.   
He’s done before Louis, which isn’t much of a surprise, and spends a few moments helping Zayn clean the tea off the couch.   
            “You really alright?” Zayn checks as they walk back into the kitchen.   
            “Yeah,” Liam says, “I was just surprised.  Louis was great – really.”   
            “I’m glad,” Zayn says quietly.  He glances back toward the rest of the flat before looking to Liam again.  “Louis’ amazing, he is.  And he’s got a lot of love to give.  It’s just hard for him sometimes.”   
            “Yeah, I,” Liam pauses, glancing back too, “it’s hard being an omega sometimes.”   
Zayn nods.   
            “Think you two can understand each other better than any of the rest of us actually.”   
Liam doesn’t like what that does to his stomach, not at all.  
            “Maybe,” he agrees reluctantly. 

Even if deep down somewhere he feels like they all understand him.   
They’re all so good to him.   
Even Niall – who still clearly has apprehensions about Liam – is kind to him.   
He’s let Liam help him cook a few times which according to the other boys is rare indeed and Liam really doesn’t know how to feel.   
It’s hard to keep pulling himself back and keep telling himself these boys don’t really like him all that much when they all make him feel special and wanted in their own ways.   
Liam didn’t see that coming. 

Louis pokes his head in the kitchen, hair tucked under a beanie and eyes a bit brighter.   
            “Ready, Li?”   
Liam doesn’t have to force his smile much.  
            “Yeah,” Liam tells him.   
If he has to remind himself to stay calm it’s his problem.  Really it’s not a big deal that he and Louis are going out by themselves for the first time.   
It’s not like it’s a date.   
It’s not like it’s going to feel like a date.   
He hopes.   
Liam swallows quickly.   
They’re just going to look at laptops.   
Not a big deal.  Honestly. 

Except Liam guesses he’s not much used to Louis being an alpha either.   
He’s suddenly so, so tempted to tuck into Louis’ side and stay close to him.   
Liam doesn’t get anxious going out generally – not since he learned how to defend himself from anyone that was going to give him trouble.  
But it’s different walking next to Louis.   
He wants Louis to protect him, rather than protecting himself.   
And while Liam’s embarrassed by this feeling he thinks that Louis would protect him.  Probably before Liam even had the courage to ask for it. 

Louis doesn’t say anything about how close Liam is to him.  Before they’ve reached the first shop he’s looped his arm through Liam’s, keeping them linked together.   
It’s nice.  Much nicer than Liam really wants to think about. 

They wander up and down the displays of laptops for about thirty seconds before someone approaches.   
Liam’s glad because he knows next to nothing about what technical aspects he should be looking for or what would be the best way to spend his money.   
            “Hello, what are we looking for today?” the associate looks to both of them, clearly unsure which one is actually purchasing and Liam likes her immediately.   
            “I need a laptop,” he says, feeling brave.  “For uni.”   
            “Great,” the associate says.   
Liam glances to her nametag, Erin.   
“What are you going to be using this laptop for?  Writing papers or more like graphic design?”   
            “Oh, writing papers,” Liam says.   
He’s not much of an artist, to be sure.   
            “Standard uni laptop,” Erin says, “let me show you what we have.” 

She walks them through several models and Liam tries to keep mental note of which models he likes best.   
Then Louis wishes Erin a good day and they head to the next shop.   
After the second store, which was pretty similar to the first honestly, they stop for tea.   
            “So what do you think,” Louis checks, blowing at his mug.   
            “It’s a lot to choose from,” Liam says.  “But they all pretty much seem the same?”   
Louis nods at this.   
            “’S why we’re shopping round innit.”   
            “Thanks Louis,” Liam says again, smiling before he takes a sip of his own tea.   
            “You’re welcome Li,” Louis says softly. 

It feels like such a moment.   
Just them sitting in a little café sipping tea.   
And Liam’s sitting there trying to tell himself that it’s nothing.  It’s just – it’s just Louis shopping with him.   
He must have felt like getting out of the flat.   
And away from Zayn.   
And it’s not – it can’t be anything.  
Liam can’t be falling in love with Louis.  Out of everyone that makes the least sense.   
He and Louis aren’t a thing alike – other than the whole omega thing.

But it’s not like Louis is _really_ an omega.   
He’s an alpha now.   
Which feels more dangerous to Liam but he just needs to keep his head on straight.   
He just needs to keep reminding himself what this is.   
It’s not like Louis really likes him.  It’s not like any of them really like him.   
They just need an omega.   
Liam’s convenient. 

He’s a bit sadder than he was a minute ago and he tries to push it down, glancing around the small café rather than looking at Louis.   
It seems like everywhere Liam looks there’s couples out on dates.   
He knows that he’s projecting and these aren’t all really couples.  He knows he’s not the only person in the world that’s single right now.   
But it sort of feels that way.   
It feels just as hopeless as that.   
Because even if he did meet someone what would happen?  
Now he’s with these boys and it’s not like they would take their omega stinking of another alpha well.   
The worst part is Liam keeps telling himself not to be sad about this because who was he really going to meet?  What was he expecting to happen? 

It’s not like he’s going to meet anyone.   
It’s not like he’s going to fall in love.   
Real love that’s more than one-sided and isn’t pathetic at least.   
So really, he should just be glad for these boys.   
And he is.  
But still part of him can’t help but quietly want more.   
Maybe there is something wrong with Liam.  Maybe he’s just too selfish to deserve good things.   
He thinks most of the time he isn’t selfish but that’s what he thinks isn’t it?   
It’s not like any of us see ourselves the way we really are. 

Liam takes a few deep breaths before excusing himself to the bathroom.   
He stays in the tiny room alone as long as he thinks he can without being too suspicious.   
Then he returns and resumes drinking his tea as if nothing is wrong.   
Nothing is wrong.  He’s fine.   
This is the best he could hope for and he’s not going to fuck it up.   
Even if he does let Louis twist their arms together as they head to the next shop. 

The next visit doesn’t go well.   
The associate that helps them is obviously an alpha and only speaks with Louis – as if Liam isn’t even there.   
Liam can feel Louis getting angry and he’s not sure whose behalf it’s on but he shrinks further on himself anyway.   
            “Maybe we should just go?” he suggests quietly.   
The alpha glares at Liam like he should be sorry he was ever born and Liam wants to be sick.   
            “Yes, love,” Louis says, “of course.”   
Louis doesn’t say anything else to the alpha at all and his expression is a grimace the entire way back to the flat. 

When they finally separate in the entryway Liam realizes he’s shaking.   
Louis helps him take his jacket off, rubbing up and down his arms.   
            “Alright?”   
            “Yes,” Liam lies.   
            “He was a twat,” Louis adds.   
            “I wasn’t even doing anything,” Liam says.  He’s trying to justify it and it can’t be – he already knows.  “Just standing there next to you.  What am I supposed to do?  Not exist?”   
He doesn’t think about all the times before that he wished he didn’t exist.  He doesn’t.   
            “Liam there’s nothing you can do with people like that.  Nothing, you understand?” 

Liam nods after a long moment.   
            “Yeah,” he exhales.  “I know.  Thanks – I’m sorry – thanks.”   
Louis squeezes his arms gently.   
            “None of the other lads get it,” he says.  “They don’t know what that feels like.”   
            “But you do,” Liam says.  It’s not a question and he feels a rush of bravery all over again.   
            “Yes,” Louis admits.   
He looks tired and sad and Liam hates it.  

Liam takes nearly half a step forward before sucking in a breath and pressing his lips to Louis’ mouth.   
For a horrible moment nothing happens.   
Then Louis’ is gripping his arms painfully and pressing him into the door as he completely takes over the kiss.   
His lips shift open a moment and press against Liam’s again.   
It’s just that – just the press of their lips – close mouthed and almost chaste.   
But it feels like missing a step.  Or maybe missing a step and the next seven as well.

            “Shit,” Louis says, drawing back.   
He presses fingers to his mouth.   
“Shit,” he says again.  “We shouldn’t have…we shouldn’t have done that.”   
            “No,” Liam agrees, terribly disappointed.  “I’m sorry.”   
            “Are you?”  Louis looks like he doesn’t believe it.   
            “Yes,” Liam says.  “Please don’t send me away.”   
He’s desperate with the thought as soon as the words are out.   
“Please don’t,” he adds. 

Louis seems like he doesn’t know what to say to that.   
            “No,” he says finally.  “I won’t.”   
Liam takes in a relieved breath.   
“But that can’t happen again.”   
Liam nods at that.   
He can’t bring himself to verbally agree.  Can’t bring himself to say out loud what he already knew.   
Of course Louis doesn’t want him.   
It’s just that he’s an omega and Louis is an alpha.   
It’s instinct to kiss Liam back.  To control him.  Even to care for him. 

Liam wishes it was as easy for him to separate his urges from his feelings as it was for the rest of them.

He goes to his room and carefully takes off his shoes, tucking them in the closet.  He hangs his coat in there as well because he would really rather not go back out to face Louis just now.   
Liam’s still standing in front of his closet several minutes later though.   
Eventually there’s a soft knock at the door and Louis pokes his head in.   
            “Do you think we should tell the others?”   
Liam bites his lip at that.   
He knows the right answer.   
But he doesn’t want any of the others to be upset.   
And he definitely doesn’t want to be sent away.   
He knew the agreement and he’s the one that kissed Louis. 

Liam feels a bit sick to his stomach.   
It’s not very often that he does something wrong.   
            “Could we maybe,” he hesitates, “not tell them?  I just mean,” he hurries to add, “it was a mistake – just an urge.  It’s not going to happen again.  It’s not like either of us wants it to happen again.”   
Liam bites down on his bottom lip.   
What’s one lie when you’ve already started?   
Louis watches him a moment.  Then another.   
            “If that’s what you want,” he says finally.   
Liam searches his expression but he can’t figure out what Louis is thinking – what he wants Liam to say.   
            “I think it is,” Liam says.  

He glances down, ashamed of himself.   
The right thing to do was be honest.   
Though maybe the right thing to do was not kiss anyone at all.   
Maybe he’ll call his mum and ask her what he should do.  Maybe she would understand.   
But Liam shrinks away from the idea of telling her too.   
He doesn’t really want anyone to know and he mostly wishes it hadn’t happened. 

Because now there wasn’t really even the hope of later.   
There wasn’t really the hope that someday down the road Liam could go off his suppressants and experience his heat with someone that loved him.  Maybe even more than one person.  _Mates_ he thinks.   
If Louis didn’t want him it wasn’t like that was going to happen. 

Liam feels sharply bitter again.   
He’s just never enough, is he?   
            “I think I’ll lay down,” Liam says next.  “Thank you for taking me shopping Louis.”   
The only answer is the door closing quietly.   
Liam walks to his bed slowly and crawls in, not bothering to pull up the covers around him. 

In the end he does call his mum.    
He cries a bit and she cries a bit more – worried over him.   
Liam’s quick to reassure her that he’s alright.  The boys are so lovely, really they were.   
It’s only that he’s lonely.   
And he misses her.   
His mum cries harder at that and Liam cries again, wiping at his tears silently. 

He’s not sure if it makes him feel more pathetic or not – that his mum can seem to love him so much but no one else can.   
Liam ought to be grateful for his mum.  And he is – very much so.   
It’s just hard to be grateful and not want more sometimes.   
Liam will give himself tonight to feel bad about himself and then tomorrow he’ll go on a run and pull himself together. 

He can be friends with these boys and not need more from them.   
He _can_.     

…

Louis feels guilty.   
And it’s not so much that he’s not told his boyfriends about this kiss – it’s more every time he looks at Liam.   
Liam just looks so sad and scared and it’s starting to drive Louis crazy.   
As if Liam thinks any moment they’ll just throw him out on the street with the rubbish.  
Like they’ll decide they don’t want him anymore.   
And Louis can’t help but blame himself for the way Liam’s walking around on eggshells. 

The others have noticed too.  Of course they have.   
Louis thinks it’s only a matter of time before the truth comes out but he’s never been one to face his issues head on.   
He was a child that just tucked his dirty clothes under the bed with his toys and said it was good enough. 

Louis keeps waiting to catch Liam alone.  He wants to check on him and make sure they’re okay – but it’s really hard to get someone alone in a flat five people live in.   
Finally Louis resorts to drastic measures – watching crap shows on telly until everyone else goes to sleep.   
He sneaks into the master bedroom to make sure Zayn, Niall, and Harry are all asleep.   
They are.   
Then Louis sneaks down the hall to Liam’s room. 

This feels a bit worse than not telling them about the kiss but it’s not like Louis has a choice.   
He just needs to make sure Liam’s okay.   
Louis only feels a bit creepy as he sits on the edge of Liam’s bed and nudges his shoulder gently.   
Thankfully Liam wakes quietly, blinking up at Louis in confusion.   
            “Louis?”   
            “Look,” Louis says, deciding immediately not to mince words, “we’re alright, aren’t we?”   
            “Yeah,” Liam says after a moment.  “Yeah, we are.”   
            “We won’t send you away,” Louis says.  “I swear we won’t.” 

            “Could we tell the others then?” Liam asks.  “I feel so guilty…all the time.”   
            “I know how you feel,” Louis says.   
Even if he’s sure it’s to a much smaller degree.   
“We can tell them, yeah.  We should probably.  Tomorrow morning?”   
Liam frowns but nods.   
            “Thanks Lou,” he murmurs, tucking a hand under his pillow.   
Louis watches him a moment.   
            “Why d’you always do that?  Thank me for just doing normal shit?”   
            “You don’t have to be nice to me,” Liam says, shocking him.   
“None of you do.” 

Louis can’t think what to say to that.   
            “Are people mean to you a lot then?”   
            “Used to be,” Liam says.   
His eyes are closed now.   
“Y’know how it is.  Easy target.”   
            “Yeah,” Louis agrees.   
He does know.   
“Goodnight Liam.”   
Liam hums in response.   
Louis stands slowly and heads back to his own bed. 

Louis burrows into the middle of the mattress, not caring who he wakes as he squirms under the covers.   
Harry rolls away but Niall is more forgiving, snuffling against the back of Louis’ neck and slinging an arm over his ribs. 

When he wakes Harry and Niall have already gotten up.   
Louis sighs and starts the long process of waking Zayn up.   
            “C’mon Zee, wake up.  We gotta talk.”   
Zayn just grunts at him.   
Louis shoves at his shoulder.   
“I’m serious.  We all need to talk.  Up.”   
            “What?” Zayn grumps, frown half hidden by pillow.   
            “I’m only saying it once,” Louis says.  “With tea in hand.  So get your arse up.” 

He climbs out of bed and tugs the covers off Zayn, leaving them on the floor.   
Zayn’s grumbling quietly behind him but he’s following so Louis leaves the door open.   
Liam and Niall are at the table already.   
Louis supposes Harry’s in the kitchen.   
            “Hazza,” Louis calls, tugging out a chair, “bring me tea please – we’re having a meeting.” 

Louis watches Zayn sag into a chair before glancing to Liam.   
Liam’s put down his fork, watching his plate instead.   
Everyone sits in silence until Harry emerges, plate in one hand and steaming mug in the other.   
Louis grabby hands for the tea and cradles the mug in both hands.   
            “More food in the kitchen,” Harry mumbles. 

Louis takes his first sip of tea and then gives himself three moments to revel in it.   
            “Right,” he says, setting his mug down carefully.  “Liam and I kissed.  And we thought you should know.”   
            “I didn’t know kisses were allowed,” Harry pouts.  “I want to kiss Liam too.”   
            “Kisses aren’t _allowed_ ,” Louis says.  “It was just a – a moment.  And it ended.  And we realized it was a mistake.”   
            “We’re just friends,” Liam adds.   
Louis is grateful for his support. 

            “Well if you got to kiss Liam I want to kiss him too,” Harry says.  “Fair’s fair.”   
            “What if Liam doesn’t want to kiss you,” Zayn points out.   
Harry scoffs.   
            “You want to kiss me, don’t you Liam?”   
            “You’re lovely Harry,” Liam told his plate carefully.  “But it’s just – I think if we all start kissing things would probably get complicated.”   
            “Five lads would be…mad,” Niall offers up.   
            “Maybe we should think about it like,” Zayn says then.   
It’s silent in the flat.   
Louis thinks he can all but hear the steam curl up off his tea.   
“We all like each other, don’t we?” 

            “We could vote,” he says after another long beat of silence.   
            “We could tie though,” Louis protests.   
He’s not sure he likes this – his stomach is turning over on itself.   
            “No,” Zayn says, “Liam votes too.  We can’t make that sort of decision without him.”   
            “That’s fair,” Louis says – which isn’t an agreement, it’s just statement of fact.   
Only Harry must take it as agreement because he’s abandoning his plate.   
            “I’ll get paper,” he calls back, stumbling over nothing, “and pens – and a hat!”   
            “Um,” Liam offers tentatively.  “What just happened?”   
            “Welcome to the family Li,” Niall offers cheerily. 

Harry tears up slips of paper with one of his hats crookedly on his head, pens sticking out between his lips.   
            “Everyone writes their vote and puts it in the hat,” Harry declares, taking the pens in hand and swiping the hat off his head with a flourish.   
He passes out the pens too and returns to his chair, scribbling across his paper and folding it up before tossing it in the hat.   
            “You’re truly one of a kind Hazza,” Louis says, because it keeps him from looking at his paper for another moment.   
How is he supposed to vote on this?   
More importantly how is everyone else voting?   
What if they vote yes?   
What if they vote no? 

Louis chews on his bottom lip for a moment.   
            “Maybe this isn’t a good idea,” he says.   
            “It seems a bit soon,” Niall adds.   
Bless Niall.   
            “It does seem soon,” Liam agrees.  “You all hardly know me.”   
            “Well we’re going to get to know each other either way,” Harry says, “if it’s no we stay the same and if it’s yes we get to kiss Liam whenever we want.”   
Zayn tosses his vote into the hat. 

Louis sighs and regards his blank slip of paper again.   
Apparently they’re really doing this.   
            “Just vote however you want Li,” Zayn tells him, reaching to squeeze the back of his neck.  “We don’t have to do anything you want to do.”   
            “Okay,” Liam says, picking up his pen.   
            “Lou,” Niall hisses, eyes a bit wide.   
            “Everyone has to vote themselves,” Harry says, glancing back and forth between them.  “No stuffing the box or hat or whatever.” 

Louis picked up his pen as well.   
He does _not_ want to be the last one to put his vote in.   
There was just the small fact that he hasn’t actually decided yet.   
He sort of wanted to kiss Liam – and that was fine.  
But did he want the other boys kissing Liam?   
Did he want Liam kissing the other boys?   
Not particularly.   
But jealousy would always be part of their relationship.   
That was just how it was.   
And what if he was the only one that voted no? 

_Okay, you’re overthinking_ he thinks next.   
Louis looks at Liam.   
Liam’s paper is still blank too and for the first time he thinks maybe Liam would be the one to say no.   
But maybe he’s just scared.   
Louis wonders how he would feel if he was in Liam’s shoes.   
What if everyone voted they didn’t want him?   
That would be terrible.   
Especially for an omega. 

Louis looks to his paper again.   
He can’t do it.   
He can’t write _no_ on that paper.   
_Fuck_ he thinks shortly.   
Then he blows out a quick sigh and scribbles a _y,_ an _e,_ and an _s_ over the paper.     
Dropping his pen and folding the slip twice he drops it in Harry’s hat.   
Niall’s a second behind him and Louis’ stomach is unbelievably upset.   
He grabs his tea and takes a burning gulp, trying to cough quietly.   
They’re all waiting on Liam now and the silence is unbearable. 

Louis doesn’t really know what he’s worried about honestly.   
What if Liam doesn’t want them?   
Then things stay the same.   
Not a big deal, right?   
Louis is usually much better at lying to himself. 

            “Right, okay,” Liam says, finally writing something.   
He folds his slip once and puts it in the hat as well.   
There’s a few beats of silence where they all just look at each other.   
Zayn tugs the hat towards him and Louis steals it.   
            “Yes,” he says, reading off the first slip.  “Yes,” he reads the second – his own vote.  “No,” is the next and Louis sort of hopes it’s Niall.  “Yes,” he reads the fourth and there’s a beat of silence.   
The vote’s carried unless Liam voted no.   
Louis dips his hand in for the last slip.   
“Yes,” he reads.   
            “Oh,” Liam says.   
            “Did you vote no?” Harry asks.   
Liam shakes his head, eyes wide. 

Harry lets out a whoop before hopping out of his chair and rounding Niall to sling himself into Liam’s lap.   
            “Can I kiss you, Li?” Harry asks.   
            “I thought you would vote no,” Niall says, looking to Louis.   
Louis shrugs, taking another sip of tea.   
“I guess it’s really kind of unanimous then,” Niall says, biting into a strip of bacon.   
            “You like him too?”  
Niall’s blushing a bit as he nods. 

For some reason this makes Louis smile.   
He watches Harry and Liam kiss for a moment before reaching across the table to ruffle Niall’s hair.   
            “Love you, Ni.”   
            “You too, Lou,” Niall tells him, snorting at the old joke. 

            “Who d’you want to kiss next, Liam?” Harry asks, smacking his lips together.  “Shall we just pass you round?”   
            “Oh god,” Liam lets out, entire face flushed pleasantly red.  “Can I brush my teeth first?”   
            “Nonsense Liam,” Harry tells him.  “You taste delicious.”   
            “Well if he tastes delicious I’ll go next,” Niall laughs.   
Liam only blushes deeper at that and he’s so cute.   
How is he so cute?   
How did this not happen before now? 

Liam buries his face in Harry’s chest a moment, making Harry laugh.   
            “You all really want to try this?  You all really want to try this with me?”   
            “Yes,” Harry tells him.  “We all voted.  We said yes.  Yes.”   
            “I just,” is all Liam says.   
His voice sounds suspiciously thick again and Louis thinks Liam crying is one of his least favorite things in the entire world.   
            “Group cuddle,” Louis announces.  “Big bed, right now.”   
            “Sounds good to me,” Niall agrees.   
            “Yeah,” Harry adds, “come cuddle with us Li.”   
Liam nods a bit.   
            “Okay.” 

Harry climbs off his lap and Louis tugs Zayn out of his chair.   
            “C’mon Zee, back to bed.”   
            “Alright,” Zayn smiles slowly.   
They all move toward the bedroom, Harry and Niall tugging Liam along.   
Louis and Zayn follow them – Louis pushing Zayn gently from behind.   
            “We got a new boyfriend,” Louis sings quietly in Zayn’s ear.   
            “You really alright with this?”   
            “Dunno,” Louis admits, “but we’re all gonna find out together.” 

It’s a bit more cramped in their bed with five.   
Louis supposes they all underestimated how big Liam is.   
Between him and Harry both Louis and Niall have to scrunch themselves up to fit.   
Zayn’s over on the edge, looking a bit precarious as one of his legs hangs off.   
            “We may need a bigger bed,” Harry laughs.   
            “Don’t even start Harry – we can all save up together,” Niall huffs.   
            “You guys can pay me back,” Harry offers.  “You know I don’t care.”   
            “No money arguments,” Louis declares, sliding the pillow from under his head to whump Harry and Niall’s heads.   
He tucks it back under his head and turns towards Liam.   
“Harry’s rich,” Louis explains.  “He likes to flaunt it.”   
            “ _Hey_ ,” Harry protests.   
Louis ignores him. 

            “Hush Harold.  We’re cuddling.”   
Louis throws a leg over Liam’s to emphasize his point.   
“Alright Li?”   
Liam nods.  He bites his lip then, scooting a bit closer to Louis.   
“We love cuddling,” Louis adds.  “In case you hadn’t noticed.”  
            “I had actually,” Liam giggles.   
Zayn sneaks arms around Liam, folding himself along Liam’s back.   
            “We also don’t really have boundaries anymore,” Zayn adds.  “So tell us if we’re weirding you out, yeah?”   
            “Okay,” Liam says.  “I will.”   
            “Only if you promise,” Louis says.   
            “Yeah.  I promise.” 

It’s surprisingly easy to fall asleep – even as cramped as they are.     

Louis wakes to the sound of Harry trying – and mostly failing – to muffle his moans.   
He rolls slowly to see Niall down between Harry’s legs, one of Harry’s hands fisted in Niall’s hair.   
Not an unusual way to wake up if he’s being honest.   
Zayn and Liam are still curled up together and it’s adorable.   
Louis thinks the only thing that would be better right now would be Niall’s mouth on his dick instead.   
But it’s not like he can’t join in.   
Louis shifts a bit closer to them, teasing one hand down the band of Niall’s boxers. 

            “Morning,” Harry groans.   
            “Pretty sure it’s not morning anymore,” Louis teases, squeezing Niall’s arse.   
            “F-Fuck off Lou.”   
            “That an offer?”   
Harry’s lips fall open on another moan, bitten dark and slick with spit.   
            “Yeah,” Harry says, “please.”   
Niall pulls off his cock, glaring up at both of them.  
            “Oi, I’m doing all the work down here – me first.” 

Harry looks torn between his blowjob and getting fucked and Louis swallows a laugh.   
            “Plenty to go round,” he says idly.   
Louis crawls out of the bottom of the bed and crosses to the nightstand to dig out a bottle of lube.   
“Pillow please?”   
Harry grabs an extra and throws it toward him weakly, half the pillow hitting the edge of the mattress and then falling to the floor.   
Louis shrugs and stoops to grab it before heading for the foot of the bed.   
He kneels down on the pillow and drops the lube onto the bed, using both hands to slip Niall’s boxers down.

Harry groans louder than before, Louis assumes Niall’s getting a bit more worked up, and Liam starts to stir.   
Louis takes a moment to splay Niall’s thighs.   
Niall pushes his arse up towards Louis, little as it is.  He gives it a wiggle and Louis can’t help a snort.   
            “I see you Horan,” Louis says, laying a light slap to Niall’s right arse cheek.   
He’s actually quite enjoying the fact that Niall can’t say anything, his moth otherwise occupied.   
Louis snaps open the lube and squeezes out a bit, using his free hand to spread Niall’s arse and get to his hole.   
Niall squirms at the first graze of Louis’ finger and Louis follows him, pressing in barely. 

Liam sits up suddenly, looking confused a moment and then his entire face flushing yet again.   
            “Hey, Li,” Louis offers, pushing his finger in to the knuckle.   
            “ _Oh_ ,” Liam offers.  “I’ll just…”   
Louis takes pity on the boy, who obviously has no idea what to do.   
            “You can watch,” Louis tells him.   
            “Oh,” Liam says again.  “I um – I don’t think I-I’m ready for that.” 

Louis tries to take it from his perspective.   
It’s probably a lot to take in.   
            “Okay,” Louis says, re-focusing on Niall.   
He slides his finger out and back in immediately, enjoying the way Niall’s hips roll. 

Liam does his best to climb over Zayn, slipping a bit as Harry moans again.   
Zayn wakes then but thankfully doesn’t kick any of them.   
Louis wishes he could say that hasn’t happened before.   
            “Morning Zayn,” Louis says, pretty sure he’s the only one capable of talking right now.   
            “You lot couldn’t even wait a day?” Zayn sighs.   
Louis shrugs and works another finger into Niall.  
            “They started it.”   
            “C’mon Li, let’s go watch telly.”   
Liam scrambles out of bed much quicker than Zayn, obviously glad to be leaving the room.   
            “But what about you?” he asks quietly as Zayn tosses an arm over his shoulders.   
            “Orgasms aren’t a good enough reason to wake up,” Zayn tells him.   
Louis snorts to himself as the door closes.

…

Liam is in trouble.   
Nothing has really happened yet.   
But all the boys have been cuddling him and giving out kisses like they’ve been storing them up for him this whole time.   
And he wants to do more – only he’s not sure he can handle four boys at once.   
At the same time how does he pick just one or two of them?   
Every time Liam picks who he’s attracted to most he immediately feels guilty over it. 

Ironically enough it’s when he stops worrying about it – too stressed over his first round of papers due – that something finally happens.   
Liam’s been on the couch most of the day all but tugging his hair out as he tries to work on too many things at once.   
            “Li,” Harry calls from the kitchen, “you want to help with dinner?”   
Liam’s not even sure where everyone else is and it makes his head ache a bit.   
He’s distracted enough trying to remember where the other boys are that he doesn’t answer.   
Harry pokes his head out of the kitchen and then follows it. 

            “Alright, Li?”  
            “Yeah,” Liam says.   
Only he knows his face is giving everything away.   
            “Maybe you should take a break,” Harry says, “it’s not good to work like this.”   
            “But I have so much to do,” Liam explains.  “Rough drafts and research and citations and then final drafts and I think I’m taking too many courses, Harry.”   
            “I’m a hundred percent sure if you take a break you’ll feel better.” 

Harry makes the decision for him, carefully sliding his laptop away from him and setting it on the coffee table.   
            “I can make you feel better,” he offers slowly, smirking.   
            “What?” Liam blurts, trying to flex his hands.  “Oh,” he says as he realizes.  “ _Oh_.”   
            “If you want to,” Harry adds.   
            “I, um,” Liam’s working really hard to think right now, “what did you want to do?”   
            “Make you feel better,” Harry tells him.  His hand slips up Liam’s thigh, a gentle pressure.  “I could suck you off?” 

Liam sucks in a breath so quickly he chokes on it.   
            “Oh,” he says again.  “I-If you want to…I would like that.  Please.”   
Harry smirks but doesn’t laugh at him which is nice honestly because Liam’s already blushing furiously and it’s not like anyone’s ever asked if they could put their mouth on his dick before.   
            “I want to if you want to,” Harry tells him, slanting his mouth over Liam’s in a half arsed kiss.   
            “Yeah,” Liam breathes out, catching his lips for another moment before Harry pulls away.   
Harry pushes off the couch and walks around the coffee table, pulling it back a bit so he has room to kneel. 

            “Oh god,” Liam manages, looking down at him.   
Harry smiles up at him, smoothing some hair behind his ear and reaching for Liam’s zip.   
            “’S alright if you come fast,” Harry tells him, “I know it’s been a while.”  
Liam can’t help but huff out a laugh.   
            “Yeah, a while like never.”   
Harry pauses, hands hovering just above Liam’s crotch.   
            “No one’s ever given you a blowie before?”   
Liam shakes his head after a few stilted moments.   
“This is great,” Harry says, grinning.  “Well,” he adds the very next second, frowning, “not great I suppose.  But I get to be your first.  And that’s quite nice.”   
            “Okay?” Liam asks.   
What else is there to say?  
            “Are you sure?” Harry asks him.   
            “Please.” 

Harry finally opens his jeans and Liam’s already a bit hard, face flushing hotter.   
            “Lift up?” Harry asks, tugging at the band of Liam’s jeans.   
Liam pushes his feet against the floor and lifts his hips.   
Together they shove his jeans and underwear down past his knees.   
It’s the first time Liam’s been naked in front of someone in a long time but it’s not like last time at all.   
Liam’s nervous and embarrassed, sure – but he trusts Harry.   
He really, really wants this to happen.   
            “Oh my god,” Harry says, sitting back on his heels.  “You didn’t tell me you were huge!  I can’t wait to tell everyone.  I should text everyone right now _Liam’s got the biggest dick_ and they’d be so jealous…it’d be great!” 

            “Oh god,” Liam lets out.   
He sags back against the couch, covering his face with both hands.  
            “You’re not even really hard yet, are you little guy?” Harry says.  He wraps his fingers around Liam’s dick slowly – still making him jump.   
            “Harry, are you talking to my-”  
Liam cuts off on a sharp breath as wet heat slips over the head of his cock.   
            “Oh god,” he manages again, hands dropping away.  He needs to see this happening and he also needs to hold on to something.   
Liam clutches the arm of the sofa with his right hand, grabbing part of a throw pillow with his left. 

            “H-Harry!” Liam cries out, his entire body shooting taut as Harry sucks hard at the head of his dick, tongue teasing along the edge of his foreskin.   
            “I just want to tell you,” Harry says, pulling off and licking his lips deliberately, “that your dick is really lovely.  Honestly, Liam I’m going to have dreams about this dick.”   
            “T-Thank you,” Liam gasps out.   
            “So polite,” Harry adds, leaning in again.         
Liam doesn’t bother trying to reply.   
Harry’s mouth is amazing.   
Liam thinks if Harry will dream about his dick, then he will dream about Harry’s mouth.   

Liam starts leaking then, squirming against the sofa as he tries to keep himself from spreading his thighs.   
Harry pulls off, wanking him with one hand.   
            “Alright?”   
Liam nods, dick twitching at how red Harry’s lips are.   
            “Please can you – I’m so close.”   
            “Course, Li,” Harry says, smiling easily.   
He sucks Liam down again, tongue sliding around the head as he hollows his cheeks. 

Liam’s hips cant up and he shoves them back down without thinking – grinding down against the cushion.   
It feels so good he can’t help but do it again, whining when Harry pulls off again.   
            “God Li,” Harry growls out, “that’s so hot.”   
Liam definitely doesn’t feel hot.   
He feels wet and empty and so, so desperate.    
“Y’want my fingers?” Harry questions, dragging his tongue along his bottom lip again.   
Liam gasps at the offer but shakes his head, forcing his hips to slow down.   
            “Can’t – won’t be enough.”   
            “ _Liam_ ,” Harry sighs.   
            “I’m sorry,” Liam mutters before he can stop himself.   
            “We’re going to have a chat about boundaries later,” Harry says, “but first, I’ve got unfinished business with your lovely cock.” 

Liam can’t control the way his thigh is twitching or the way his hips are still grinding his arse down on the sofa.   
Harry moves with him though, keeping the head of Liam’s dick in his mouth.   
Liam doesn’t stand a chance then – letting his legs fall open and moaning when Harry just slips even further between his knees.   
            “Harry,” he gasps out, “ _Harry-_ ” 

It’s nearly painful is what it is.   
Liam’s entire body is drawn whipcord tense and he can barely manage to make his lungs work.   
The tension snaps suddenly and Liam curls in on himself, trapping Harry between his legs as he comes.   
He can’t move for the longest time.  Doesn’t want to really.   
It’s one of the best orgasms of his life and Liam isn’t really sure his heat orgasms count anyway.  Definitely the best orgasm not tempered by heat.   
            “Harry,” he groans quietly.   
            “Yes, Liam?” Harry asks, stroking both his thighs gently.   
            “That was…unbelievable.  Thank you.”   
            “Don’t have to thank me,” Harry says.  “I wanted to.  In case that wasn’t obvious.”   
            “I should get up,” Liam realizes aloud.   
He really should shower.   
            “In a bit,” Harry says.   
Liam nods at that.   
He really doesn’t want to get up yet anyway. 

They end up showering together and Harry’s so beautiful.   
Liam feels a bit foolish for having the thought – but he really is.   
His dimples and his tiny little tummy – the way he touches his chest.  His adorable little bum.  And the way he laughs at how awkward they are with each other for the first several moments.   
Liam may be in love.  
Which is probably a bad idea because this has all happened quite suddenly but at least they are actually dating now.   
That’s something.   
And Liam can’t help but feel hopeful for the future. 

They kiss lazily and wash each other – Harry letting Liam wank him too.   
Harry doesn’t laugh at him or get impatient, rather, he gives him tips.   
_Little bit faster love, ah, like that, yeah_.   
It’s easy with Harry.  
Everything is much easier than Liam had expected.   
That probably should worry him and maybe later it will but for now he’s not too concerned. 

They half towel each other off before stumbling into bed and Liam’s never been quite this pleased to take a study break.    

There’s a few knowing looks and nudges when the other boys get home but nothing really happens and Liam keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

It’s been two weeks and while nothing else has happened, Liam’s okay with it.  Mainly because that shoe still hasn’t dropped.   
He’s even doing pretty well at uni, pulling solid marks in all his courses.   
Currently Niall’s helping Liam take another study break, and they’re messing around on his laptop.   
It’s amazing honestly.  Niall’s laugh is so loud and infectious and Liam loves the way his cheeks pink up so cutely.    

He didn’t really plan on being pinned underneath Niall as they kiss sloppily but it’s not like Liam minds.   
Niall’s not strong enough to hold him down but Liam has no desire to struggle so he lies pliant and lets Niall do as he pleases.   
Their hips grind together slow and it’s probably the least urgent orgasm of Liam’s life.   
Niall sighs and then chuckles.   
            “Was that good for you?” Niall asks, eyes glinting.   
Liam flushes and lets his eyes close for a few moments.   
            “Yeah,” he admits.  “Wasn’t quite expecting that but-”  
            “’S nice,” Niall adds.   
            “Easy,” Liam agrees.  “Like…in a good way,” he amends next, cheeks flaring hotter.   
            “I don’t mind being easy,” Niall grins.   
Liam just groans and covers his face with a pillow. 

Thing is – everything seems to tense up then.   
Louis and Zayn watch him differently now.   
It’s like they’re waiting for who gets him next.   
While Liam is sort of…flattered?  All the attention also makes him nervous.   
He doesn’t know what to do with it.   
Liam starts spending more time cuddled up with Harry and Niall because they still treat him the same.   
At night when it’s quiet and he’s alone Liam worries.

He tries not to – but he does. 

It’s Zayn.   
And by the time the bedroom door is closing behind the heel of Zayn’s boot Liam guesses he should have seen this coming.   
It just seems to make sense that it’s him.   
The way that Zayn and he had just seemed to fold together.  And what about the way Zayn watched him like he was beautiful?  The way he was watching him now?   
And it didn’t really make sense to Liam.  Not only because he wasn’t beautiful – but because Zayn so obviously was.   
Zayn’s unbelievably gorgeous and it’s enough to make Liam crazy with how much he wants this.   
            “Y’okay, Li?” Zayn asks him quietly, scratching at his stubble.   
Liam nods so rapidly it hurts his neck a bit.   
            “Yeah I’m…nervous.  But…good.”   
Zayn smiles at that.   
            “Don’t be nervous babe – we’re gonna do whatever you want, yeah?”   
            “Okay.”   
Liam swallows quickly, reminding himself to breathe.   
He knows what he wants he just isn’t sure if he can actually ask for it.    

“Take off your clothes,” Zayn says, patting the mattress after a moment.   
Biting at his lip – Liam obeys.   
It’s easy enough to kick off his shoes and peel out of his socks.   
Then Liam tugs off his shirt and opens his jeans before shoving them down.   
Zayn doesn’t even bother pretending he’s not watching.   
            “What about you then?” Liam asks, feeling breathless already.   
            “I’ll catch up,” Zayn offers, one brow arched.   
Liam moves to the bed in nothing but his green plaid boxers.   
After a moment he sits down next to Zayn.   
“Wanna get comfortable?”   
            “Right,” Liam says.   
He maybe has to remind himself that he’s done this before.   
Liam stands again and shimmies out of his boxers before climbing into the bed and crawling to the middle.   
“How d’you want me?”   
            “Doesn’t matter, just make sure I can get at you.” 

Liam shivers a bit at the words, flopping down onto his stomach.   
He drags the only pillow Zayn left on the bed under his belly before settling it under his hips.   
It’s so simple to let his thighs fall open, not as simple to make his feet relax against the mattress though.   
The only problem was Zayn doesn’t do anything.   
It can’t have been more than a minute before Liam starts squirming.   
            “What are you doing?”   
            “Thought you didn’t mind being teased,” Zayn says.   
It sounds like he’s smiling.   
“Maybe I’m just enjoying the view.”   
            “Oh,” Liam allows, his face flushing at that.   
He buries his face in his arms – he’s sure it’s about as red as it can get.   
            “Didja know you blush on the back of your neck?” Zayn asks him.   
Liam groans quietly.   
            “I blush lots of places.”   
            “Cute,” Zayn says next.  “Makes me want to spank you though.”   
Liam groans again.   
            “Y’can,” Liam mumbles.  He’s on fire – lit up from the inside out.   
Like he could deny Zayn anything.   
“Y’can do anything – please.”   
            “I want you to think about what you want,” Zayn says.  “Think about what you want the absolute most.  Then tell me.” 

Liam wants to curl up on himself and push his arse up at the same time.   
He thinks about the last time – the heat addled embarrassment and how much everything sparked and ached beneath his skin.  
Liam doesn’t want this to be like that.  
He wants more.  
  
            “God,” he groans out.  “I want you to own me.  I want you to tease me until I can’t even stop myself from begging and I want you to make me beg – then I want you to fuck me and knot me and fill me up.  Please.  _Zayn_.”  
Liam’s not sure where the words have spilled from but he supposes it’s been too long since he’s been fucked.  And maybe they’ve just been dancing around this for too long now.   
Maybe he just needs it.   
            “You sure?”   
            “Yeah,” Liam groans, rocking his hips down into the mattress.  “Yeah, please.”   
            “Stop that,” Zayn says.   
It isn’t easy to obey that order.   
Alpha’s orders aren’t special or magical or whatever else.  This order is only firmer – coming from someone who’s absolutely sure about their control in this situation.  It’s still the same decision Liam always has to make.  
He forces his hips still, his entire body tensed on the mattress.   
            “Touch me,” he pleads.   
A single fingertip down the back of his thigh.   
Liam shudders as the touch vanishes just as easily as it had appeared.   
Zayn grips the back of his knee then, tugging his legs further apart. 

Liam gasps weakly.   
He wishes the headboard had slats or grooves or anything that he could hold on to.   
It doesn’t though, it’s just a huge piece of smooth cherry wood.   
            “Please, please,” he manages.   
            “Don’t you want to hold off on the begging a bit?” Zayn asks.   
_No_ Liam thinks.  He bites down on his lip anyway.   
This isn’t going to end well – he suddenly realizes.   
Zayn hasn’t even touched his arse yet and Liam’s starting to leak.   
But there’s something insanely hot about the way Zayn just asked exactly what he wanted.   
There’s something insanely hot about the way that Liam doesn’t know if he’s going to get it or not.  
Zayn traces the crack of his arse and Liam nearly cries out.   
He’s so desperate for each touch – so desperate for whatever he can get.   
“You ever finger yourself?” Zayn asks, breaking the silence suddenly.   
Liam huffs at that, impatient for something other than talking.   
            “Yeah,” he says.  “Zayn, please.”    

Zayn doesn’t push in though, rather he smears the slick there.   
            “Y’gonna get wetter for me Liam?”   
            “Yeah,” Liam moans.  “Yeah.  You’ve no idea.”   
Zayn’s fingertip drifts dangerously close again but still doesn’t slip in.   
            “How long is a while?” Zayn asks.   
His fingers slip off Liam totally and Liam can’t help but groan in disappointment.   
“Liam.  Focus.”   
It takes Liam a moment to even remember the question.   
            “About two years,” he says.   
Zayn’s quiet for too long at that.   
“I went into heat,” Liam adds softly.  “It, uh…was unexpected.”   
            “You okay?”   
            “With this?” Liam checks.  “Yeah.  Please.”  
It doesn’t really matter if he’s ready or not – not at this point.   
He’s going to get fucked and whatever happens after he’ll deal with after.   

Zayn pushes a finger in without any more warning.  
Liam’s entire body reacts to that and he shoves his hands down between the mattress and headboard in a desperate attempt to hold on.   
Zayn slips his finger out just as easily.   
He rubs at Liam’s rim gently.   
What feels like two fingers slide back in.   
Liam rolls a bit, opening his hips and pushing his arse up.   
Zayn gives him a light smack for it.   
Each and every attempt by Liam to get Zayn to do more is met with another light smack to his arse.   
Liam’s regretting telling the truth now because this is driving him mad.   
Zayn’s still just rocking two fingers in and out of him and Liam can’t even grind into the mattress. 

Liam’s entire body feels slick with sweat and he’s not even sure what to do with the pleasure shooting up and down his nerves.   
He feels like he’s ready to split out of his skin if something else doesn’t happen.   
            “Zayn, Zayn, Zayn, please, Zayn, Zayn,” Liam starts chanting, feeling absolutely unhinged.   
            “Please what?” Zayn asks.   
Liam squirms desperately under him.   
            “Please fuck me, please, please, please-”   
            “Breathe for me Liam,” Zayn tells him.   
He pulls out and Liam digs his fingers into the edge of the mattress.   
He’s clenching down desperately on nothing at all and he feels so horribly empty and wet and he _knows_ like he rarely knows anything at all that he needs to get fucked.   
            “Please,” he manages again.   
The mattress shifts underneath him and he hears Zayn opening up his belt and then his jeans.   
Liam rolls, needing to see this, needing to see Zayn. 

He settles onto his back, shoving and then kicking the pillow to the floor.   
Zayn gets his cock out, shutting his eyes tightly and groaning as he fists himself loosely.   
Liam whines at the sight of him, starting to scoot his body down closer to Zayn’s.   
Zayn walks forward on his knees – shoving his pants down just enough.   
            “Hands and knees, babe.”  
Liam’s eager to comply, lungs dragging air in desperately and holding on to it for too long.   
Zayn must finish tugging off his jeans because as he presses against Liam it’s nothing but skin against skin.   
Liam can’t hold in his groan and he doesn’t want to.   
Zayn’s fingers did fuck all to prepare Liam for the press of his cock.   
It hurts in the best way and something that feels like a sob catches in Liam’s throat.   
He lets his head hang down – his spine sagging too.   
  
Zayn just keeps pressing in and the pain lights along Liam’s nerves.   
He tenses up and Zayn groans but Liam can’t manage to relax.   
            “Alright?” Zayn checks, squeezing his hips.    
            “G-Good,” is all Liam manages at first.  “So good.”   
He forces his hands to unclench, lay flat against the sheets.  Next he inhales slow and careful.  His stomach is still tensed up, feeling like lead.   
Liam presses down on his knees, moving his hips forward barely.   
There’s a brief reprieve from the pressure and Liam breathes again.   
He flexes his feet, taking another breath.   
It’s a bit easier to press back then, take in more of Zayn’s dick. 

The next rock of Zayn’s hips presses them flush together.   
Liam inhales unsteadily, muscles locking up all over again.   
It’s not like his heat.   
It’s much easier.   
But it’s also much more at the same time.   
Liam feels untethered.  As if he’s been cast into the ocean and there’s nothing left for him to cling to.  
It’s not really the way one should feel with a cock up their arse.   
This feels like much more than sex.  He’s not sure why it does.  How it does. 

Maybe this was going to happen regardless of who he slept with. 

Liam doesn’t want to think about it.   
            “Zayn,” he grunts out.  “Can you please-”  
Zayn draws out slow, pushing forward.   
“Fuck.”   
Zayn thrusts again at the same deliberate pace.  
“Please.”   
            “What you want babe?”   
            “Faster,” Liam says.  
Zayn takes his hips in hand and drives in like he means it.   
Liam rolls with it, shifting his weight from his palms to his fingers and back again.   
His eyes close on their own and this is exactly what Liam wanted.   
It’s probably not right how easily they find a rhythm.   
And Liam knows he’s going to be sore later but he can’t manage to care just now.   
It feels so _good_ is the thing.   
It feels amazing. 

Maybe Liam should have found an alpha to fuck before he left.   
Then he wouldn’t be so affected now.   
Because surely this is because it had been so long for him.   
That has to be the explanation.

Liam comes twice before Zayn’s done with him, tugging his knot out gently before it’s fully gone.   
Liam shudders at the catch of it on his rim but doesn’t move other than that.   
He lays boneless on the bed instead, knowing he should move out of the wet spots but not caring enough too. 

Liam can’t bear to be away from Zayn’s side for the next few days.   
If soul bonds were real Liam would think they’d formed one.  It was still a nice thought if he was honest.   
And it was cute the way the rest of the boys were jealous.   
Because it didn’t seem like they were jealous of him – it seemed like they were jealous of Zayn.   
It makes Liam happy.  So happy he’s basically stupid with it.  Falling all over his boys, thinking of them as _his_ boys, and giggling and laughing so much it’s a wonder he doesn’t constantly have headaches.   
Basically everything is going about as well as it can – even if his grades dip slightly.   
Zayn dotes on him a bit – brings him tea and kisses his mouth softly and hungrily like he wants Liam all over again. 

But it’s Louis’ turn.   
Liam’s not sure if this was something that was said out loud – announced like a rule for all the boys.   
But it’s definitely a thing.   
It’s a thing in the way that Louis watches him now.   
He’s waiting though – for what Liam doesn’t really know.   
It might just be because of the way Liam sat gingerly for two days after Zayn.   
Probably is.   
Not that Liam has regrets.  He definitely doesn’t. 

But he’s anxious for the time Louis finally corners him.   
He wants it so much but at the same time it almost feels like the last piece of the puzzle.   
Louis feels important. 

…

Louis isn’t much of a masochist.   
He doesn’t like holding himself back like this and he isn’t necessarily doing it on purpose either.   
It’s only that now that he’s waited this long it seems to have built up into this _thing_ and it feels like the other boys are looking at him – waiting for him to make his move.   
But – not that he’ll admit it out loud – Louis is scared.   
It’s not like he’s the alpha Zayn is.  Or even Harry.   
He has to work at it.  He has to force it.  And some days he just _can’t_ be an alpha.   
What if he gets Liam into bed and just…drops out?   
How’s an omega gonna fuck an omega?

Louis wakes up Thursday morning to Niall and Zayn still in bed with him.   
He stretches out slowly before slipping from bed and padding towards the kitchen.   
Harry’s nowhere to be seen and his current scarf, a yellow plaid affair, isn’t strewn across the back of the couch, the counter, or the table – so Louis assumes Harry’s currently out.   
Liam’s schoolbag is still sitting on one of the chairs though, which is odd.   
It’s nearly noon and Louis is pretty sure Liam should be in class by now.  
Not that he’s Liam’s mother – still. 

Louis abandons making his tea and heads for the second bedroom, where Liam still mostly sleeps.   
Something ought to be done about that really, but it’s an abstract thought as Louis eases the door open.   
Liam is still in bed, turned on his side away from Louis – only one leg and half his shoulder visible under the blankets.   
            “Liam?” Louis questions, slipping in.   
Liam doesn’t stir and Louis bites his lip in thought.   
He’s already late enough to have missed class, surely.   
Maybe Louis can convince him to play hooky – just this once.   

Liam rolls a bit when Louis climbs into bed, humming quietly.   
            “Hey love,” Louis offers, the pet name slipping out easily.   
A little pucker appears between Liam’s eyebrows and he hums again, lips parting slightly as he sighs.   
            “Louis?” Liam questions, peeking up at him.   
            “You aren’t in class?”  
That wakes Liam up a bit and Louis wants to smack himself.   
            “What time is it?” Liam asks next, starting to sit up before pausing with a groan.   
            “Bout noon,” Louis tells him, frowning as well.   
            “No,” Liam groans pitifully, “I missed class.”   
            “I’m sure you can email,” Louis says, reaching to thread his fingers through Liam’s hair.   
            “I can still make it to history.”   
Liam only moves to press into Louis’ touch though.   
            “Could stay in bed,” Louis says.   
            “Could do.” 

Louis presses a bit closer, settled a hand on Liam’s thigh, and kisses him.   
Liam pushes him away rather quickly though and Louis has to bite down on a sigh.   
Not like timing has ever really been on his side.   
            “I can’t Lou – I have to call the doctor.”   
And that…wasn’t what Louis was expecting to hear.   
            “Sorry, what?”   
            “I’m rejecting my suppressants,” Liam says next.  “I’m gonna get sicker and I’ll need to go and see my doctor.  Preferably today.”   
            “This has happened before?”   
            “Every six to eight months,” Liam sighs.  “Yeah.”   
He sags back against his pillow for a moment before groaning again.   
“I’m gonna vom,” he adds casually.   
            “Maybe not in bed?” Louis suggests.   
Liam just groans again, rolling to shove his face into the mattress. 

Louis brings him the trashcan and heads to wake up the others.   
            “Liam’s ill,” Louis says, shaking Zayn awake.   
            “I’m up,” Zayn says after only about twenty seconds.   
Good reaction time for him.   
            “C’mon Ni, you too.”   
That bit done Louis heads back to Liam’s room, frowning at the way Liam’s curled over his trashcan, face tucked firmly into it.   
Louis sits on the corner of the bed closest to the door and furthest from Liam.   
“Can I call the doctor for you babe?  What’s his number?”   
Liam stops heaving long enough to gesture to his phone and Louis takes a moment to wince in sympathy before going to grab it off the nightstand next to Liam.   
If he holds his breath until he’s safely back to his corner of the bed he figures it’s really best for everyone.   

It’s simple enough to scroll down to ‘Dr. Emerson’ and press dial.   
            “Dr. Emerson’s office this is Megan speaking.”  
            “Hi, erm, well I’m calling for Liam Payne?  Would he be able to see the doctor today?”   
There’s a quick pause and Louis can hear her typing.   
            “We’ll fit you in – how’s 3:15?”   
            “Great,” Louis forces himself to say.  “We’ll see you then.”   
He hangs up Liam’s phone and slips it into his back pocket before regarding Liam again.   
            “Can I make you some tea?  How’re you feeling?”   
            “Just water please,” Liam sighs.   
            “Doc’ll see you at three,” Louis tells him softly.  “Be right back.”   
            “Thanks Lou.”   
            “Course,” Louis says. 

Zayn takes Liam to the doctor and Louis isn’t jealous.  Well, only a bit.   
But it makes sense for Zayn to take him and it makes sense for Liam to want to be close to Zayn right now.   
Louis doesn’t fault either of them for that.   
He’s not hugely fond of the way his stomach is twisting the more he thinks about it though.   
It’s never really nice to think about how much more of an alpha Zayn is.   
Liam is what’s important right now though and Louis hopes he’s alright.   
If he’s been through this before a few times Louis is sure he will be.   
Hopefully.   
Funnily enough Louis never considered himself much of a worrier.   
That was always better left to his mum or Harry. 

Liam’s quiet when they get back though.   
His eyes are barely open and he shuffles to his room before closing the door.   
Louis looks to Zayn.  
            “What happened?  Is he alright?”   
Zayn nods at that.   
            “He’s tired,” Zayn says.  “I guess the doctor thinks that since he’s with alphas now it would be better to let things run their natural course and all that.”   
            “Heat,” Louis lets out, not quite making it a question.   
He pauses, licks his lips as he thinks that over.   
“Is that what Liam wants?”   
            “’M not sure,” Zayn says after blowing out a sigh.  “I wasn’t in the room with them.  I guess his doctor has been wanting him to go through a heat anyway – not healthy to be on suppressants for so long.  I guess he was more understanding because of ‘the way things happened’ but Liam didn’t really explain what that meant so…” he sighs again.  “I’m not sure.  Not really our business, is it.” 

Louis isn’t happy with that answer and doesn’t stop himself from frowning.  
            “I guess not,” he admits.  “But if Liam doesn’t want this or doesn’t feel like he’s ready-”  
            “He’s ready,” Zayn says, cutting him off.  “At least I think he is.  He said at least three times that this was the worst timing.”   
Zayn slants a look at him then – like that should mean something to Louis.   
“He wants you y’know,” Zayn adds after a pause.   
            “Well that’s,” Louis huffs before he thinks about it.   
He falls quiet, unwilling to say what he’s thinking out loud.   
But he can’t help the thought.  Does Liam want him?  Or another alpha?   
“Nice I guess,” he finishes eventually because Zayn still hasn’t said anything and they’re all thinking it anyway.   
Louis won’t be the first to get Liam once his heat starts.   
He probably won’t be second either. 

They sit and talk about it when Harry gets home, Niall a steadying weight at Louis’ side.   
Liam hasn’t come out of his room yet.   
            “It’ll be fine,” Louis forces himself to say, though he isn’t sure about that at all.  “He’ll have his heat and we’ll work him through it and it will be fine.”   
            “What if we fight?” Harry asks.   
And that’s…  
Louis can’t actually picture Harry fighting him.   
But they’ve never gone through a heat before.   
And three alphas for one omega sounds like a bad idea.   
Louis isn’t even sure he wants to say it out loud.   
            “We won’t,” Louis says.  
_We all know I’ll just slip down to beta or omega if we do_ he doesn’t say.   
It answers his question though.   
When the time comes it will be Zayn first, Harry, then him, and finally Niall. 

Louis isn’t crazy about that order but he doesn’t have the standing to challenge Zayn and Harry.   
Even if he did it’s not like he wants to fight with them.   
They fight every so often – no more than any other couple that happens to be four lads trying to sort things out.  But Louis doesn’t enjoy fighting with them.   
He doesn’t know anyone that would either.     
They haven’t really fought since Liam got here either.   
Louis doesn’t want to screw that up.         
He doesn’t want to screw any of this up really.   
            “It’ll be fine,” he says again. 

It’s tense the rest of that day and well into the night.   
They’re all waiting for Liam’s heat to start and Louis can’t even pin down who’s the most nervous about it.   
He’s afraid that it’s him – but even Zayn’s a bit quiet.   
Quiet for him anyway.   
            “What do you think?” Louis asks, leaning in the doorway of their room with tea in hand, “Should we give him space?”   
            “I think he’ll come to us when he’s ready,” Zayn says.  “’S not like it’s you, yeah.”  
   
Louis sticks his tongue out and takes a sip of tea.    
            “Don’t be a prat.”   
            “He’s got a point, Lou,” Harry says, not looking up from his novel.  
            “I’ve been betrayed,” Louis proclaims dryly.   
He turns smoothly and joins Niall on the couch.   
Niall lets Louis rest his head in his lap because he’s the best boyfriend. 

Louis balances his tea on his chest and looks up at the ceiling, ignoring whatever game Niall’s watching.   
            “Alright, Lou?”   
            “Fine,” Louis says, frowning as his mug wiggles perilously.   
            “Uh huh,” Niall hums, scratching his fingers through Louis’ hair without another word.   
Niall really is the best boyfriend.   
            “You’re the best boyfriend,” Louis tells him.   
Niall smiles at that.   
            “I just let you have your way the most, Lou.  Can’t be arsed honestly.”   
            “Well,” Louis sniffs.  “I was going to offer you a blowjob but now I won’t.”   
But Niall just smiles again.   
            “That’s alright,” he says, unbothered.  “Better save it for Liam anyway.”      
Louis doesn’t tell him to shut it because he’s got a point there. 

Louis isn’t sure what time it is when he wakes.   
He and Niall are still on the couch, Niall snoring softly above him, and the telly is still on.   
Louis stifles a yawn as he sits up, stretching out his shoulders and groaning when they pop.   
For a moment he contemplates waking Niall and giving him at least two nipple twists for letting them fall asleep on the couch – but maybe leaving Niall asleep on the couch would be a worse punishment.   
He climbs off slowly instead, heading for the kitchen to make some tea.   
The kettle hasn’t started to boil yet when Louis smells it. 

The scent of heat is unmistakable.   
Louis grips the counter and flicks the burner off.   
He takes a deep breath and then another.   
Fucking Liam while everyone else is asleep isn’t Louis’ first thought.   
It’s more along his third or fourth.   
But somehow the idea of being caught while knotted in Liam doesn’t appeal to him.   
Louis snorts at himself and heads towards Liam’s room, breathing carefully through his mouth. 

Liam’s still asleep, rutting into the mattress slowly.   
Louis’ gut clenches just watching him and it’s nearly too much to take in.   
            “Liam,” Louis tries before stepping into the room.   
There’s no response, not that he was really expecting one.   
Louis gives himself a moment to feel sorry for himself.  It is Liamthat’s in heat after all.  What Louis is going through doesn’t much compare.   
“Liam,” Louis says again, rounding the bed to shake him awake. 

Liam groans and there’s a fresh swell of pheromones.   
Louis swallows and tastes them all along his tongue.   
            “C’mon Li,” he tries, “gotta get you to Zayn.”   
Liam whimpers, hands fisting in the sheets.   
            “Zayn?”   
            “You want him first, yeah?”   
            “Don’t care,” Liam whines.  “Just need a knot.”   
            “Christ, Liam,” Louis spits out.   
It’s not Liam’s fault, he knows.   
“Come on, I’ll help you.” 

He has to admit it’s nice the way Liam has to cling to him – it’s nice being what Liam needs.   
Only he’s not really what Liam needs.   
Which is only proven when Zayn meets them in the doorway and takes Liam right out of his hands.   
Louis can feel it happening as he lets go of Liam and as much as he tries to ignore it, he slips down to beta.   
It’s what he was afraid of, and Harry and Niall are both looking at him as Zayn leads Liam down the hall and for two stilted seconds Louis can’t breathe.   
It would have been better if they’d still been asleep he thinks. 

            “Lou,” Niall says, shifting towards him slightly.   
            “Don’t,” Louis tries.   
He closes his eyes and clenches his fists and – it’s happening again.   
            “We don’t have time for this Louis,” Harry tells him, “we need to look after Liam right now.”   
He probably doesn’t mean it as harsh as it comes out.   
And he’s right.   
Part of Louis knows that.   
But Louis feels torn open just now – right back down to omega.  Which he _hates_.   
He feels vulnerable and panicked and there’s no one to help him this time.   
They have to take care of Liam.

Louis is hit with several feelings at once.   
He wants his boys cuddling him.   
He doesn’t want to take attention off Liam because he needs them more right now damn it.  
He wants someone to hold him down and fuck him until he cries.   
And he wants his mum.   
None of those feelings go together. 

_You’ve been replaced_ Louis thinks absently.   
This version of himself anyway.   
And what was he supposed to do now?   
What was he going to do when he fell down to omega next time?  
They already had an omega.   
They didn’t need him. 

            “Lou,” Niall says again, more urgently this time.   
Harry’s disappeared into the other bedroom.   
            “I’m okay,” Louis lies.  “Go help them.”   
            “They don’t need my help-” Niall starts.   
            “I’m fine,” Louis insists.  “I’m going for a walk.”   
            “Right now?” Niall demands.   
            “I’m fine,” Louis says again. 

If he doesn’t leave now, he won’t. 

            “Louis,” Niall says.   
            “I have to go,” Louis answers.   
            “I’ll come with you.”   
There’s too many feelings hitting him all at once again and Louis just shakes his head.   
            “Just…make sure they don’t kill each other, yeah?”   
Niall crosses to him and hugs him tightly.   
            “I’ll call when it’s done,” he says quietly.   
            “Yeah, okay,” Louis manages.   
He really wants his mum.   
            “Love you,” Niall adds.   
            “Yeah.” 

Louis grabs boots and a coat out of the front closet.   
He thinks they probably aren’t his but it definitely doesn’t matter.    
            “Do you have your phone?” Niall asks.  “What about a charger?”   
It’s not fair really, that Niall sees through him so easily.   
            “I’ll buy one or something,” Louis says.   
Lies.  It’s all lies.   
He’s probably going to cry any moment.   
            “Louis,” Niall sighs.   
He sounds so unbearably sad about it is the thing.   
Louis swallows.   
            “Just…make sure Li is okay.” 

Maybe it’s not right to love Liam and to be worried about him – but he does.  He is.   
But it’s easier to focus on Liam right now.   
            “I don’t want you to be alone,” Niall says, wringing his hands together.   
            “I won’t be,” Louis says.  “I’m just gonna go home a bit.  For a bit,” he edits.  “For a bit.”  
Niall just looks at him.  His face is as helpless as Louis feels and this is probably the worst breakup of his life.   
Is this a breakup?   
It has to be.   
Zayn and Harry are literally fucking another omega right now and Niall’s going to go in and join them as soon as Louis is gone and that seems like a breakup to him.   
It’s not really fair to them.  Or Liam.   
But it’s not really fair to Louis either. 

Louis’ head hurts.   
His chest aches.  
And he just really, really wants his mum. 

By the time Louis arrived at his mother’s he wasn’t feeling well.   
In fact he felt ready to tear out of his skin.   
It was too tight and he was too hot.   
More than anything he wanted to shift back up to beta just so he could stop feeling like _this_. 

As soon as his mother saw him her face crumpled in concern.   
            “Oh, Love,” she sighs, “what is it?  What’s wrong?”   
Louis couldn’t manage anything other than a brief shake of his head.   
            “Mum,” he croaks out, folding himself into her arms for a hug. 

He doesn’t argue when she bundles him up and settles him on the sofa.   
It’s only when she tsks as she lays her hand across his forehead that Louis thinks enough to be concerned.   
            “You’re running a fever, Dearest,” she tells him softly.   
            “I’m fine,” Louis tells her.   
His voice is soft and raspy but he’s fine. 

Louis loses track of time as he slips in and out of consciousness.   
All he knows is the mug settled on the coffee table for him and whether the sun is peeking through the blinds or not. 

            “Louis,” his mother says, loud enough to wake him.  She runs a hand through his hair where she’s kneeling on the floor.   
Part of Louis feels bad, putting her out like that.   
“Love,” she continues, “you’re going into heat.  You need your mates.”  
            “They don’t want me anymore,” Louis tries to explain, tears seeping down his cheeks.   
She hums at that.  
            “Are you quite sure about that?”   
Louis wants to say yes, he quite is – but a catch in his throat stops him.   
            “I don’t know.”

He raises his hands to swipe at his face, a bit alarmed by how weak he is.   
            “You don’t want me to call them?  See what they say?”    
Louis thinks about it for a moment.   
Sure, it’s pathetic to hide behind his mum.   
But he’s feeling a bit pathetic just now, weak as a kitten.  A three legged kitten even.   
            “Okay,” he allows, “but don’t tell me if they say something bad.”   
            “Alright, Love,” his mother arranges his hair again.  “Get some rest.”

When Louis wakes again it’s dark.   
It smells different though.   
Like Zayn almost.   
But it’s not like that’s possible.   
Zayn’s with Liam.   
Louis sighs and snuffles back into his blanket, forcing himself to keep his eyes closed. 

            “Think he’s wakin’ up,” someone says.   
            “Well don’t rock him so much,” another voice says.  “ _Gently,_ Zayn.”  
            “I have to walk, Hazza,” Zayn counters.   
Louis forces his eyes open then.   
            “Wha?”   
            “Hey babe,” Zayn says.  “How you feeling?”   
            “Not good,” Louis says, too tired to lie.   
            “We’ll be inside soon,” Zayn tells him. 

Harry opens the door for them and Zayn heads straight for the second bedroom, laying Louis down.   
            “Try to rest,” Zayn says, “yeah?”   
            “Okay.”   
He’s still wrapped in the blanket from his mum’s house and it’s easy enough to roll onto his side and sleep. 

Niall is with him the next time he wakes.   
            “Hi,” Louis says, managing a wan smile.   
            “Alright?”  
Louis nods slowly.   
            “Liam?”   
            “They’re with him,” Niall says.  “Probably will be for a while.”   
That makes sense Louis thinks.   
“Doc says you may have a slight heat.” 

Louis frowns at that.  
            “What does that mean?”   
            “Well,” Niall blows out a sigh, “either shorter or less intense.  If it happens at all.”   
            “Oh,” Louis says.  “That sucks.”   
            “Could be hot,” Niall says after a minute.   
            “But Liam-”     
            “Let us worry about that,” Niall tells him.  “Just…let us.” 

There’s a silence, meek on Louis’ part.   
            “How does a shower sound?” Niall asks him.   
            “Okay,” Louis agrees.   
He has no idea how long he’s been sweating in this blanket, he probably should shower.   
Niall rolls out of bed and by the time Louis has unwrapped himself Niall’s pulling the door open.   
By the time Louis makes it into the bathroom Niall’s got the water running, steam already beginning to curl around the curtain. 

Niall helps him out of his clothes easily, pushing Louis towards the shower before stepping out of his boxers and slipping in as well.   
He reaches out to squeeze Louis’s hip before reaching for one of the bottles of shower wash on one of the shelves.   
Niall starts at Louis’s shoulders and works his way down Louis’s ribs and waist.   
Louis stands there a bit helplessly.   
  
It’s always nice when people are nice to him and he’s never minded of course but this – this is something else entirely.   
He’s sort of – he still feels fragile and that’s not the best feeling to have.   
Louis’s never liked that feeling.   
But with Niall pressed against his back and washing him like he can’t bear the thought of not doing it.   
It’s sort of – indescribable.   
He feels safe and cared for in a way that he hasn’t since he was a small child under his mother’s care.  But it’s sort of hot too.   
Which probably isn’t right but Louis doesn’t really want to think about that. 

Niall’s hands run down him under the water, helping to rinse away the suds and Louis’ not the cleanest at this point but he suspects that it isn’t really the point of this shower anyway.   
He likes the way his heart is beating in his chest, slow but firm.   
            “Wash your hair?” Niall offers.  
            “Could we just…kiss for a bit?”   
Niall laughs.   
            “Yeah Lou, sure.” 

Louis turns and wraps his arms around Niall’s waist, happy to press their mouths together.   
He doesn’t want Niall to feel sad.  He wants Niall to feel safe and loved…like he does.   
_I think I love you_ he says with the next several kisses.  _I never want to let you go_ he tells Niall with the span of his hands across Niall’s lower back.  _I want you so much_ with a press of his thigh between Niall’s.   
Niall’s hands slip down from his ribs, each fingertip catching slickly on the swells and dips for fractions of seconds.   
They cradle his hips and slip further back – lower.   
Louis arches into him a bit, stifling a gasp.  
            “I know, I know,” Niall breathes out – just loud enough to be heard over the spray of the water.  “Really sensitive, yeah?”   
Louis nods, resting his cheek against Niall’s shoulder. 

For what feels like an hour Niall just rests his wrists on the swell of Louis’ arse, fingertips hanging down.   
It’s when Niall actually presses his fingers down that Louis goes hot all over, half worried he’ll spill right out of his bones.   
Niall’s not messing around the way he pulls at Louis’s arse with one hand and thumbs at Louis’s rim with the other.   
Louis whines – loudly.  He only thinks to be embarrassed after.   
            “Kinda scary innit,” Niall says, “feeling so, so desperate for it.  But it also feels so good.  So good when I give it to you, yeah?”   
His fingertip presses insistently against Louis’s hole, slipping in with no resistance at all.   
            “Oh god,” Louis gasps, biting his lip in an effort to hurry the words out. 

Louis goes boneless against him as soon as Niall presses into him again.   
Shouldn’t be this much he thinks – just Niall’s fingers.   
Suddenly Louis wonders what it will be like to be fucked like this.   
            “Niall,” he groans.   
He presses closer and can’t help but rub against Niall’s hip a bit.   
            “I know,” Niall says, fingers going deeper. 

Niall doesn’t waste time, reaching down with both hands and tugging at his arse cheeks, spreading them a moment before squishing them back together as he kneads the flesh.   
            “Niall,” Louis gasps out, arching closer to him.   
            “Yeah, love,” Niall says, “’Ve got you.”   
            “Yeah?”   
Louis isn’t really sure why he has to ask, he just knows that he does.   
            “Always got you Lou,” Niall tells him, one hand sneaking back up to tilt his jaw into a kiss. 

            “Think I can smell it on you,” Niall says as they break apart.  “Not sure if I’m just being paranoid.”   
            “Maybe it’s gonna hit soon,” Louis admits, trying not to shiver.   
            “You wanna wait for it?”   
Louis doesn’t have to think about it long, unwilling to admit out loud that he’s scared – that he wants the comfort of Niall’s touch right now.   
He shakes his head, turning around and bending at the waist.  His hands brace on the tile at the back of the shower, slick with condensation.   
Niall’s hands drift over his hips, steadying him a moment.   
“God, Lou,” he says, barely loud enough to be heard over the spray, “gonna kill me.”   
            “Fuck me,” is all Louis says, “please.”   
            “I know.”  
Niall squeezes at his hips again before his hands slide off. 

Fingertips press gently at his hole, testing the slick.   
Louis whines at that, body already pressing back for more.   
            “Niall, please.”   
            “You good?”   
            “So good,” Louis sighs.   
It probably wasn’t loud enough for Niall to hear.   
He shifts his arse back again, letting that be the answer.   
Niall doesn’t make him wait much longer, the head of his cock slipping in as he grips Louis’ hips again.   
Louis’ mouth falls open but no sound comes out, fingers and toes trying to grip at slick tile in the same moment.   
Niall slides in, in, in, without stopping.   
He’s fully inside before Louis has managed to make a sound. 

It feels like a small eternity that Niall simply stands there, hips pressed flush to Louis’ arse.   
Louis doesn’t try to get him to move, he already has a feeling this will be over too soon.   
The first thrust is barely a thrust at all, more a roll of Niall’s hips.   
It’s the next thrust though, that Louis feels all the way down to his toes.   
Louis truly loves Niall’s dick.   
            “Niall, please,” he whimpers, loud enough that it seems to ring in his ears.   
Niall doesn’t make him wait, pulling back and thrusting in again.   
Louis lets his shoulders and head drop down, angling his arse up for Niall.   
Niall’s hands tighten on his hips, nails digging in for a second.   
It’s just enough pain for Louis to bite into his lip, groaning against the trapped flesh. 

It feels so good.   
Almost too good.   
Louis is going to come too soon, his arse clenching down on Niall like he can make him slow down.   
Not that Louis wants him to slow down.   
In fact, he just wants Niall buried tightly inside him, knotting him until it hurts.   
There’s an extra thrill that runs along his skin at that, almost enough to make his heart stutter.   
He wants that more than anything else.   
            “Fuck,” he grits out. 

He’s begging within the next handful of thrusts and maybe later he’ll be worried about how pathetic he sounds.   
It’s not a concern of his right now.   
            “Gonna knot you babe,” Niall says.  “Don’t worry.”   
Louis thinks he can already feel the swell of Niall’s knot starting.   
But maybe he’s being paranoid.   
He whimpers and tightens up on Niall’s dick just in case.   
“God Lou,” Niall groans out between the awful moans and pleas leaking out of Louis’ mouth.  “You’re gonna kill me.”   
Louis can’t help but shiver at that.   
Most of him knows it’s not a real fear but a smaller part is still worried over losing Niall.  An even deeper primal instinct is worried about not getting knotted.

            “Don’t,” he manages, still unable to find a grip on the tile in front of him.  He bites at his lip and tries to roll his hips with Niall’s.  “Don’t stop,” he forces out, struggling to get the thought across his brain.   
            “Close,” Niall says.  “You gonna come, love?  Or you waiting for my knot?”  He groans at that, hands tightening on Louis’ hips again.   
Louis wonders if he’ll have bruises.  
He wonders what he’ll look like after his heat.   
“You gonna come on my knot?” Niall asks.  Offers almost.   
Louis can’t help a whine at that, nodding.   
He wants Niall’s knot desperately.  Wants to come so, so much. 

The water starts falling colder and Louis doesn’t even care.   
He’s solely focused on Niall’s dick sliding in and out of him.   
            “Babe,” Niall grunts out – and it’s not sexy, or it shouldn’t be.   
Except his knot is swelling and filling Louis up as he comes.   
Louis can’t breathe with the intensity of it, a shallow gasp slipping out as he comes right behind Niall.   
All that’s holding Louis up then is Niall and the wall he’s still bracing his hands against.   
“Lean back a bit Lou,” Niall says.  “I’ll turn the water off.”   
Louis sighs but pushes himself up. 

Niall turns enough to shut the water off, his knot tugging at Louis deliciously and horribly.   
            “Okay,” Niall says, laying a soothing hand on Louis’ ribs.  “And lean a bit this way love, let me grab a towel.”   
They’re still stuck together and quickly growing cold, but between the towel Niall drapes over them as well as he can and Niall’s body heat it’s not so bad.   
“Alright?” Niall asks.   
Louis nods, wrapping a hand around Niall’s wrist. 

Zayn comes to collect Louis while Niall deals with the shower and Louis is happy enough to cling to Zayn, wrapping his arms loosely around his neck and breathing him in.   
            “Hey Zee,” Louis manages, feeling sleepy.   
Zayn squeezes at his shoulder, comforting.   
            “Lou.  You alright?”   
            “Yeah,” Louis says.   
            “Alright,” Zayn says easily.  “Smell good.”   
The words make something ache gently in Louis and he’s all too glad to sink into bed, pulling Zayn down with him. 

Louis is kissing Zayn before he really knows what he’s doing, feeling needy and clingy down deep in his gut.   
It feels good though.   
Good to be held close like this, sunk into a mattress that smells of all of them.   
Louis feels stretched out like taffy – warm like molten caramel.  
He’s happy.   
            “Hungry?” Zayn asks.   
Louis watches his spit slicked lips for a moment and then two, not focusing on what he’s said.   
Zayn pokes his cheek.   
“Hey,” he offers softly, “you hungry?”   
            “No,” Louis answers, smiling and nearly giggling up at his alpha.   
He wonders if this giddiness is part of the heat.   
            “Should rest then,” Zayn tells him.   
He looks concerned for a moment, mouth bowing as his eyebrows shift closer together.   
            “Alright,” Louis agrees.  He reaches up to smooth out Zayn’s brow before settling back into the pillows.

When Louis wakes up next he doesn’t have to wonder if his heat will come.   
He’s sweating all over, already slicked up between his thighs, and he wants to cry with how much he aches.   
He tries to sit up, just to see who’s in bed with him, and cries out at the pressure against his arse.   
            “Fuck,” he huffs, eyes watering.  “Fucking _fuck_.”   
            “Lou?” Harry’s there immediately, pressing against his back and drawing a hand through his hair.   
            “Please Harry,” he manages.  “Please.”   
Harry moves away from him to shake Niall awake, reaching around Louis and flicking Zayn’s ear twice quickly. 

Louis is on Zayn as soon as he blinks awake, already scowling at being woken in such a way.   
Louis does his best to kiss it off, struggling to climb on top of him at the same time.   
            “Oh babe,” Zayn says, face melting into a soft gooey smile.   
Louis isn’t sure he could survive Zayn always looking at him this way – but he kind of wants to find out.  
“C’mon then,” Zayn says, shoving at the sheets and wriggling out of his trackies.  “Got something for you,” he offers, smirking.   
Any other time Louis would scoff at him and probably deliver at least a nipple twist for that – now however, Louis is more worried about getting a dick in him.   
Harry and Niall are moving around, Louis assumes Liam is somewhere close by, but he’s not worried about them at the moment.   
He finally manages to sling a leg over Zayn’s thighs, already gasping at the feel of his thighs spreading open. 

Part of him wants to slink onto hands and knees and offer himself up the best way he can but Zayn’s already under him and this will be so, so good too.   
God he needs this.   
            “Zayn,” the word barely leaves his lips.  His throat is suddenly too dry.     
            “Yeah Lou, c’mon.”   
Zayn settles his hands on Louis’ hips and guides him down.   
Louis’ body tightens up for just a second as the head of Zayn’s cock presses against him.  As the head slips in though, all of his muscles loosen up at once, body sagging down as he breathes out.   
He’s euphoric.   
He’s complete.   
  
            “Thank you,” Louis says, dropping his hands to tangle in the sheets.    
Zayn kisses under his jaw.   
            “Gonna ride my dick babe?”  
Louis groans through his teeth, tensing his thighs and pushing himself up.   
It’s easy, so fucking good, to slide back down.   
He feels like he’s losing his mind, needing so much so quickly.   
All Louis can do though is keep lifting himself up and dropping down, filling himself over and over.   
So good like this, and Louis tells Zayn that.  He tells him how big he feels, how deep he’s getting.   
Louis tries to tell him at least – it could all be half bitten off words and greedy moans. 

His first orgasm is a surprise, making him cry out softly as he curls in on himself.   
            “Fuck, babe,” Zayn says.   
He rolls them carefully, lifting Louis’ thigh to slide back in.   
Louis nearly screams, shaking as Zayn leans closer to press a kiss to his face.   
“Got a long way to go,” Zayn tells him.   
The words are soft and serious and Louis is so grateful for Zayn then.   
Zayn fucks him slowly, concerned at his little whimpers and how sensitive his arse is.  
Louis can’t make himself move, laying limp and letting Zayn do whatever he wants.   
Someone runs fingers through his hair and he blinks open his eyes to see Liam’s concerned face.   
            “There you are,” Liam smiles.  “Harry and Niall are making some food.  Just let us know if you need one of them, yeah?”   
            “Okay,” Louis croaks, whining high in the back of his throat as Zayn rocks into him again. 

It’s overwhelming is what it is.   
And by the time Zayn actually knots him Louis’ face is damp with tears.   
He would be horrified – possibly – if it wasn’t for the way Zayn was holding him.   
Like Louis was precious and fragile.   
It made him feel quite loved.   
Zayn even settled against him gently, knot shifting and nearly making Louis come again.   
The rush of endorphins was incredible and Louis really had no hope to stop himself from crying.   
Liam was speaking soothingly above them and even though Louis couldn’t make out what he was saying his heart swelled in his chest until it nearly hurt.   
Liam knew what this was like, he probably knew how overwhelmed Louis was – but it still helped to have him there.   
Every bit of support helped.   
Knowing Harry and Niall were making food so they could keep their energy up helped too. 

Part of his brain catches on that though, and he needs Niall rather suddenly.   
Niall is always by his side.   
Always laughs at his shitty jokes.   
            “Ni,” Louis manages, face feeling like it’s frowning.  “Nnn,” he forces out.   
His body feels too heavy to control and Louis exhales shakily, letting the bed hold him up.   
Liam says something, squeezing his wrist and pushing off the bed. 

Louis wonders if his entire heat will be like this.   
He hopes not – it’s actually a lot like being ill.   
There’s a buzzing in his ears and everything is so heavy and slow.   
It’s like he’s drenched in syrup.  Louis finds he doesn’t like it.   
Being the center of attention is quite nice though.   
So is everyone taking care of him.   
Maybe he could get used to that part.   
He supposes that’s life, taking the bad with the good. 

Niall’s slipping into bed then, smiling softly at Louis.   
            “Alright Lou?”  
Louis thinks he can almost hear it.   
He’s still all wrapped up in Zayn and it’s nice to just hold onto Zayn as he stares up at Niall’s smiling face.   
Louis smiles back at him and Niall uses the edge of a sheet to wipe away Louis’ tears.   
Zayn kisses the side of his face sloppily.   
Louis loves them so much.  So very much. 

When Zayn finally shrinks enough to slide out of him Louis only half feels the loss.   
Niall’s right there to take over, thrusting into Louis so smoothly, hands firm on his hips.   
Louis is only half surprised when he comes again just from that.   
Niall fucks him gently too, like he’s worried Louis is going to break.   
Louis is desperate for more, almost to the point where it’s hurting.   
But he still can’t quite manage to speak.  Let alone hear if they’re saying anything to him. 

Finally Louis stops trying.   
He gives in to the sensations wringing through his body, closing his eyes and clutching at the sheets. 

He’s not really sure when the buzzing stops.  
Maybe he’d fallen asleep.   
Either way the next time Louis is aware enough to open his eyes Zayn and Harry are in bed with him, on either side.   
Louis rolls a bit, oddly satisfied with how sore he is.   
            “Thirsty?” Zayn asks, quick to tuck a bookmark in his book and set it aside.   
            “Please,” Louis nods.   
            “Feeling a bit better then?”   
            “Mm,” Louis hums noncommittally.  “’S it over?”  
   
Zayn just smiles at that, holding a glass to his lips.   
            “Not yet babe.  Liam says the first bit should be the most intense, since it’s your first heat and all.”  
Louis swallows the water and sighs.   
“Hungry?” Zayn offers next.   
Louis shakes his head and Zayn laughs quickly.   
            “Liam said you’d say that,” Harry explains when Louis huffs.   
            “I’m not hungry,” Louis insists, “just sleepy.”   
            “Maybe just try to eat something babe,” Zayn suggests.  “Then how about a shower?”   
A shower did sound good.   
            “Alright,” Louis agreed, closing his eyes again. 

They bring the food to him, of course.   
Louis doesn’t realize how hungry he is until he takes his first sip of broth, stomach opening up and all but growling for more.   
He eats the next several bites rapidly, ignoring how pleased Harry looks.   
            “Lots of protein,” Harry says sagely, “gotta keep your energy up.”   
Louis slurps obnoxiously.   
            “Thank you Harold.”   
Harry doesn’t even look a little annoyed, only fond.   
Louis goes back to his soup.

            “How about a shower?” Zayn asks, slipping the near empty bowl from Louis’ grasp.   
Louis huffs quickly.   
            “Pointless, isn’t it?”   
His eyes slip closed again, feeling warm and sleepy.   
            “You sure?” Liam this time.   
Louis sighs and rolls to hug a pillow closer to him.   
            “Yes,” he says.   
There’s definitely a silent conversation going on above his head.  Louis ignores it though, trying to go back to sleep. 

There’s something keeping him from it, something just fluttering at the edges of his brain.   
Like he’s forgotten something.   
He hasn’t forgotten anything though, he just wants to sleep some more.   
Another minute passes though and Louis has the feeling he’s not going to be going back to sleep.   
            “Fuck,” he sighs.  “It’s not over.”   
            “Alright, Lou?” Harry asks.   
            “Yeah,” Louis says.  “C’mere.”   
Harry grins at him and settles closer, kissing the corner of Louis’ mouth before kissing him fully. 

It’s like flames licking at his skin and Louis can’t help but groan into Harry’s mouth.   
He spreads his legs, back arching as desperation fills him up.   
Harry scuttles down his body though, peppering kisses in admittedly odd places.   
His hands settle on Louis’ shins before sliding up and cupping the sides of his knees.   
Louis squirms, his breath catching low in his chest.   
Harry presses another kiss, low on his thigh.   
In response Louis’ stomach sinks down.   
This isn’t going to happen quickly at all.  
            “Harry,” Louis grits out, “don’t-”   
Harry seals his mouth quite a bit higher before Louis can manage anything else.   
His fingers sneak even higher, tugging at Louis’ rim before slipping inside.   
He stretches the muscle, pulling it open until Louis cries out. 

It doesn’t feel good for long though, even as many fingers as Harry’s got tucked inside him they become a tease for what Louis wants.   
What he really needs.   
            “Harry-”  
            “I know, Love,” Harry murmurs, pulling off Louis’ cock.   
His voice is husky, lips slick and red – Louis shivers.   
“Soon,” Harry says.  “Promise.” 

Soon is two orgasms later for Louis.   
He’s boneless but still burning with an amazing amount of energy.   
The sheets are most likely ruined at this point with the sheer amount of slick that’s escaped his arse.   
Apparently Harry enjoys it, or it’s just coincidence that his tongue has hardly left Louis’ arse.   
Finally though, he pushes himself up and settles his body over Louis’ like a blanket.   
He lifts Louis’ calf and slips it over his hips.   
Louis is quick to lift his other leg and wrap it around Harry as well.   
            “Please,” he says again because maybe that will get Harry’s dick in him any faster.   
When Harry pushes into him and there’s definitely the beginning of a knot already.   
Louis can’t help a horrible noise escaping him.   
His fingers scrabble at Harry’s shoulders, trying to hold on and get more at the same time. 

Harry fucks him hard and fast and still Louis wants more.   
He’s sure any other time it would hurt but he still wants more.   
Louis wants to be knotted until he dies.   
Maybe that’s a bit dramatic.  He doesn’t care.  
It’s one of the best feelings in the world.   
Especially having Harry pressed so tightly against him – Louis knowing that neither of them are going anywhere for quite some time.   
It’s intimate.   
Powerful.   
He loves it.

It’s overwhelming in a way that Louis can’t fully realize.   
He can’t take a few moments to lose himself in it and then pack it away in a box like all of the other things that he finds overwhelming.   
Being in heat, continually laid up with one or more of his boys is almost like being caught in a never ending wave.  He goes up and up – just when he thinks he’ll break the surface and finally be able to breathe he gets sucked back down again.   
Rinse and repeat. 

He’s not sure when he made it out to the couch – thinks maybe he can remember blearily demanding to be let out of bed.   
Maybe he even napped?   
He must have.   
It’s not long before Harry comes to check on him.   
            “Alright love?”   
Louis blinks and turns enough to meet his gaze.

Louis groans with the force of it, stomach curling as his thighs futilely squeeze together.  
He feels wet and wonders how badly he reeks.  He wonders if the entire flat smells like his slick.   
Some part of his brain lets his thighs splay, barely, just in case.  
Harry’s growl sends a thrill through him and Louis barely has enough time to sit up before Harry is across the room – one hand burying itself in Louis’ hair to tug him into a kiss. 

Louis goes liquid pliant against him, kissing him back hard to keep from begging.  
            “Bed,” he manages, voice high and raspy with need, “bed, Harry, _please_.”   
Harry hauls him up like he weighs nothing at all and Louis doesn’t know what to do with all the need in him.  
They keep kissing down the hall and Louis reaches out blindly to slam the door behind them when Harry turns through the doorway. 

There’s nothing romantic about the way Harry peels Louis’ trackies and pants off and Louis loves him – he does – but it’s not the time for that.   
Louis needs Harry inside of him _now_ and apparently his mouth isn’t above begging for it.   
            “C’mon Harry, c’mon give it to me, please.”   
            “Give you what,” Harry huffs out, lips dragging across Louis’ jaw as he yanks at his flies.   
Louis whines.   
            “You know.  _Harry_.”   
            “Say it, Lou.” 

Louis is all but crying by then and maybe he’s missed this.   
He’s probably missed this.   
Harry pulls Louis’ thighs apart and stills, holding Louis open and doing absolutely nothing about it.   
Louis gnaws on his lip, lungs opening up desperately for air.   
            “Haz,” he gasps out.  He fists his hands in the sheets, biting at his lip again.   
            “Say it,” Harry repeats.   
            “Your knot,” Louis manages, so quiet it’s barely audible.  “Please Harry,” he gasps out, lip trembling now. 

            “You sure?” Harry asks.   
There’s something about the way he asks it though, something that tugs at Louis’ gut.   
            “Yeah,” he says, face hot.  “Yeah, Haz, please.” 

There’s an awful moment where Harry doesn’t do anything and Louis thinks he’ll die the way Harry is looking at him.   
Harry finally slips between his thighs and Louis wants to cry again.     
His back arches of its own accord, painfully so.  He spreads his thighs wider though, trying to pull Harry in. 

Harry kisses him again and it’s a nice distraction as the head of his dick presses in.   
It hurts – like always – and Louis breathes through it, gasping as Harry presses in.   
He’s so gone already.   
            “Lou,” Harry breathes out.   
He leans closer, holding himself up on his elbows to wipe away the tears on Louis’ cheeks.   
“You okay, babe?  Slow down?” 

Louis manages to shake his head.   
            “Need it Haz.  Please.”   
Harry didn’t know, he’d never been here before.   
“Need it so much,” he admitted, sobbing the words out weakly.   
            “Okay,” Harry says, “okay.  I’ve got you.”

Louis nodded again, he knew Harry would take care of him.   
He always tried so hard.   
The first slow drag out had Louis nearly panicked, holding tight to Harry anywhere he could.   
But Harry thrust back in, hips laying flush against Louis’.  
It was enough to make Louis cry out. 

Harry hesitated a moment before pulling back and sliding in again.   
            “Please Haz,” Louis forces out, knowing Harry’s not really going to fuck him unless he knows Louis is okay, knows that Louis wants him to.  “Please.”   
            “Yeah,” Harry says.   
He holds himself up with one hand, pulling Louis’ calf over his hips to press in deeper. 

That’s when Harry actually starts dicking in like he means it and Louis can barely breathe.   
He’s probably still crying but he doesn’t care – at all.   
Louis feels like this is the only time that he and Harry really understand each other.  The only time they really fit together.  And while he wishes that it could happen pretty much any other way – he loves Harry like this.   
There’s no push and pull.   
There’s only Harry giving and Louis taking it.   
Maybe this is the only time Louis can admit that this is what he wants. 

But it’s different he thinks.   
He doesn’t want to just submit to Harry all the time.   
And it’s not like they can fuck to solve every argument they have.  
Just like Harry can’t give Louis whatever he wants all the time.

Louis doesn’t really want to think about that though.  
He closes his eyes and rolls his hips up to meet Harry the best he can.   
It’s so good his muscles are tight with it, nerve endings buzzing. 

Of course, this doesn’t last too long.   
Desperation is still stinging up and down his nerve endings and Louis forgets to care that it’s going to hurt.   
Most things hurt one way or another.   
He starts squirming under Harry, glad when Harry shifts enough to let him sneak a hand between them. 

Louis just grips at his cock at first, gritting his teeth.   
He’s so desperately hard.   
The first stroke is careful and Louis shudders through it, crying out quietly.    
Harry groans at him, rolling his hips.   
            “C’mon Haz, please.” 

Louis strokes himself again, body tightening with the pleasure of it.     
            “Harder babe, please.”   
Harry complies, hands firm on the backs of Louis’ knees as he holds him open.   
Louis can hardly breathe with the change of position, back arching off the mattress again for a painful moment.   
He has to sag back into it, panting for air as he tries to hold off. 

Louis purposely strokes himself slower than Harry’s pace, still feeling too close to the edge.   
He tries at least.    
But it’s still the tug and pull of wanting to come and wanting to hold off.   
Louis has never been the most patient person. 

            “C’mon Lou – don’t make me do it for you.”   
Louis whines at the words, a dribble of wet working out the tip of his cock as he squeezes himself again.   
Harry presses all the way into him, leaning down to kiss him.   
“Like you mean it,” he adds, “wanna feel you.” 

Louis can’t help whining again.   
Harry’s getting close too, if the way he’s talking is anything to go by.   
  
Quick and desperate – it usually is with them. 

Louis gives up then, jerking himself as fast as he can, ignoring the hurt.   
He can already feel his muscles locking up tight in the anticipation of it, back arching again as he tries to get more – get closer. 

The spark that breaks across his skin surprises him – it still does somehow.   
He whimpers out a litany of _Harry_ and _please_ and those are the only words he knows.   
His entire body is strung out, mind racing along the lines of it – the pain and pleasure and Harry.   
Endlessly Harry. 

Harry’s groan is low in his throat – guttural as it forces out of his mouth.   
He shoves in as far as he can and Louis squirms under him, body jerking in aftershocks as Harry’s knot swells. 

            “Fuck,” he whimpers out, gripping at the sheets when he can’t hold onto Harry’s biceps.   
He’s so, so full.   
God it’s perfect.   
It’s everything.    

            “Lou,” Harry sighs out, collapsing on top of him and working a hand into his hair.   
Louis moves as little as possible, unclenching his fingers and laying his arms across Harry’s back.   
They hold each other loosely like that and everything’s alright. 

            “I didn’t hurt you?” Harry stops to check before he pulls out.   
            “You did,” Louis said, not wanting to lie, “but it was good.  I need it Haz.”   
Harry frowns over that.   
Louis sighs at him.   
“’S not your fault.” Louis tells him.  “It’s just…me.”

Harry shifts a bit and climbs out of bed.   
He rounds the corner of the bed and regards the chaos of clothing on the floor.    
Louis sits up to watch him but doesn’t bother tugging the sheet over himself. 

            “You wanna take a shower?” Harry asks next.   
            “Not much point, is there?”   
Harry slides a glance to the door.   
            “I guess not?” he asks, watching Louis again.   
            “I’m okay,” Louis said. 

Emotionally he wasn’t.   
But he’d be fine. 

Zayn only pauses in the doorway a second as Harry leaves – dark eyes running all over Louis’ body.   
Louis shivers under the weight of it, grabbing for a pillow blindly.   
He rolls onto his stomach, kicking at the mattress to lift his hips and slip it under himself.   
Zayn doesn’t bother closing the door, stripping out of his clothes as he crosses to the bed. 

He runs his hands up the back of Louis’ shirt, lifting him up enough to pull it off.   
Zayn’s hands skim back down, settling at his hips to squeeze.   
            “Alright?” he asks.   
            “Y-Yeah,” Louis stutters out. 

Zayn doesn’t ask if he’s sure – probably too far listening to them.   
He settles his body over Louis’; hot and heavy.   
There’s barely a prod of his fingertips down between Louis’ legs before Zayn is holding him open and thrusting in.

Zayn’s completely unapologetic in the way that he fucks Louis.   
He settles his left hand on Louis’ hip, his right on Louis’ shoulder for leverage and properly fucks into him.   
All Louis can do is lay there and take it. 

His body’s so pleased with him Louis wants to scream with it.   
This is it, this is everything he needs in this moment. 

This is when the doubts creep in.   
When he loves getting fucked this much.   
Is this what he’s meant to be?  Just an omega?   
A pathetic, weak omega?  Who will give it up for anyone – anytime? 

Louis curls his face into one of the pillows still at the head of the bed and tries to will the thoughts away.  
He pushes his hips up because he may be disgusted with himself but he still wants Zayn’s cock in him.   
Zayn starts fucking him even harder then and Louis never understands how it can hurt and still feel so good.

It’s pathetic, the way he comes without even getting a hand on himself.  He just grinds into the mattress the best he can as Zayn pounds into him.   
Zayn just keeps going and Louis can’t help the quiet whimpers that push out as aftershocks run up and down his spine.   
He shakes along the knife’s edge of pleasure and pain and it’s sick – it’s probably sick the way he enjoys Zayn using him like this. 

Zayn goes still suddenly, rocking his hips just barely against the swell of Louis’ arse as his knot begins to swell.   
            “God, Lou,” he groans out.   
He sags against Louis, hand on his neck shifting his head so he can bite Louis’ shoulder. 

            “Fuck!” Louis yells at the burst of pain.  “You’re not actually a werewolf!” he reminds him sharply, wriggling and groaning as the motion tugs on Zayn’s knot.   
Zayn doesn’t answer, licking over the bite mark generously.   
“Prat,” Louis grunts, anger seeping out as he relaxes against the mattress again. 

            “You still upset with me?” Zayn mumbles, fingers drumming along Louis’ ribs.   
            “Yes,” Zayn makes a quiet, hurt noise, “no,” Louis grunts, irritated.  “Your dick is literally up my arse right now, you shit.”   
            “Can still be upset with me,” Zayn points out, far too wise to have just filled Louis up with his come.   
            “I’m not.  Upset with me,” Louis says. 

Zayn hums at that.   
He pushes the sweaty hair off the back of Louis’ neck and lays his lips there.   
            “Y’can’t help it babe.”   
            “Shut up,” Louis says, hiding his massive pout in the pillow.   
Zayn listens, laying on top of him quietly. 

Louis is in rather desperate need of a shower – or maybe a soak in the tub.  
But first he limps to the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea.   
Of course, that’s where Niall finds him.   
            “Hey babe,” he says, easy.   
His voice drapes over Louis like warm caramel and when he touches Louis – Louis melts right into it.  
“You alright?”   
            “Why do people keep asking me that?” Louis grumps, sighing as Niall kisses below his ear gently.   
            “Sore?”   
            “Yeah,” Louis admits, soft. 

            “Lou,” Niall says, tone oddly sympathetic.   
As if he’d ever been fucked back to back, body begging for more.   
“I can help with that,” he adds.   
            “What,” Louis can’t help himself, “gonna make me all better with your cock?”   
            “I had something else in mind,” Niall tells him. 

The warmth of him disappears and the next thing Louis knows Niall’s pulling apart the cheeks of his arse, exhaling against him.   
            “Oh god,” Louis manages.  “N-Niall.”   
            “Yeah?” Niall questions.   
There’s a very deliberate lick across his hole then.   
Louis nearly falls, moaning as his fingers scramble against the countertop. 

            “Maybe we should move a bit,” Niall hums, tugging Louis to the right of the stove.   
He licks along the inside of Louis’ thigh then, smacking his lips before lapping at Louis’ hole again.   
            “God,” Louis cries out, giving in and resting his chest against the countertop. 

Louis feels wetter by the second, gravity and Niall’s tongue working more and more of the come out of him.   
            “Lou,” Niall says, dragging his tongue over his lips – at least that’s what Louis assumes he’s doing – and pressing the tip of his thumb against Louis’ rim gently, “you’re making such a mess babe.”   
Louis can’t hold in a whine at that, face and neck flushing with embarrassed heat.  
            “Shut up, shut up,” he says quickly.   
Niall complies too well to that – shoving his tongue back up Louis’ arse.   
His hands knead at Louis’ thighs, swiping through the drying come and pressing it into his skin. 

            “Niall, please,” Louis gasps out, flinching as the kettle starts howling.   
            “Please what?  You want me to fuck you too?”   
Louis whimpers at the thought alone.  
            “No,” he says, honestly.  “Just – please.”   
            “Alright babe,” Niall says, “alright.” 

Someone takes the kettle off and both of Niall’s hands are still firmly on Louis’ thighs.   
Louis glances up to see Zayn watching them, smirking.   
            “Tea?” he questions.   
            “Might as well,” Harry says, before Louis can.  “Water’s already hot.”   
            “God,” Louis manages weakly.   
He closes his eyes – he has to.   
Niall down licking into him and both alphas watching him – he can’t.   
It’s overwhelming. 

Harry and Zayn enter the kitchen too, crowding Niall even further into Louis.   
They make tea as if everything is perfectly normal and Louis isn’t spread over half the available counter space like an insatiable whore. 

Niall tugs him around, fingers slipping back inside as he takes the head of Louis’ dick into his mouth.  Harry and Zayn are squeezed over in the corner, both actually drinking tea and watching them.   
Niall sinks down further on his dick, gripping at Louis’ hip with his free hand.   
He’s watching Louis watch him and Louis doesn’t know how to deal with it.   
It’s too much, it’s all been too much for one night and Louis is suddenly exhausted. 

He slips down a bit, locking his knees to keep from falling.   
Niall pulls back enough to lick at his slit, pressing a kiss to it.   
            “’S okay Lou – just come.”   
Louis nods. 

Niall sucks him back down, pressing three long fingers back inside and Louis doesn’t hold on much longer.  
It hurts – like everything else at this point – but it’s also very easy.   
Easy like closing his eyes or laying down.   
Pleasure sweeps over his nerves and drags the tension out of him. 

He’s not sure who helps him to bed – only that they’re all there.

Louis is far too exhausted to do anything other than sleep.

It’s quiet when he wakes up. 

For several moments Louis just lays there, eyes closed as he inhales and exhales again. 

He hums softly, a testing sound.   
There’s no response.   
Louis reaches out a hand.  Nothing but empty sheet.   
He groans internally, finally opening his eyes.   
The bedroom is empty. 

Louis has to admit this wasn’t quite what he was expecting.   
Wasn’t heat supposed to be some sort of bonding experience?   
It certainly didn’t seem like it at the moment.   
With a roll of his eyes, Louis sits up.  He bites down on his groan at the pangs of ache that wrestle through his muscles in response.   
He nearly calls out but something stops him – fear? 

Louis eases himself from the bed, walking toward the door gingerly.   
It’s cracked open so all Louis has to do is press the edge with a few fingertips and it swings wide enough for him to slip out.   
With each step his stomach sinks lower and lower, until it’s just above his toes.   
He can’t see them but he can already hear them. 

Niall and Harry – Liam too.   
It’s not hard to figure out where Zayn is then.   
Louis pauses, still concealed in the hall.   
Why did they leave him to wake up alone?  Did they think that was what he wanted?   
Was it because he’d left? 

It wasn’t as if he’d wanted to leave.   
Liam was in heat.  Louis needed to go so they could focus on that instead.   
And it wasn’t as if Louis had chosen to come back.  Chosen to have a heat of his own.   
They all knew he didn’t really want to be an omega. 

Especially with how this felt. 

Louis turns around and heads back to the bedroom. 

…

Harry is the first to see him – smiling over a soft,  
            “Lou.”   
They all turn to look at him.   
Louis emerges fully from the hall then, duffle bag swinging out behind him. 

The silence in the room is painful.   
            “Is my car still at my mum’s,” is all Louis says.   
He coughs quietly, looking down to the floor.   
            “Yeah,” Zayn says after a beat, fingernails dragging trenches in the arm of the sofa.   
            “Right,” Louis says.  “I’ll just take the tube then.” 

            “Lou,” Niall tries, pushing himself off the couch and taking one step, then two.   
            “I’m just,” Louis says, “it’s just too much right now, yeah?”   
He’s still not looking at any of them.   
“I need to go,” Louis says.   
It’s almost like he’s telling himself. 

Liam doesn’t dare say anything.   
He feels like a cartoon character, suddenly stuck before the next flip of the page.  
Is this his fault?  
He’s too large for the space he’s taking up, panic bubbling in his stomach and threatening to swell over him.

Liam wants to climb into someone’s lap and hide his face in their neck until it all goes away.   
Only Liam has a feeling that won’t fix anything.   
And they all need to focus on Louis right now.   
Liam bites down on his lip and hopes for the best. 

            “Louis,” Zayn says, visibly hesitating.  “We’d like you to stay.”   
            “Well, I can’t do that right now,” Louis says, shaking his head.  “I can’t.”   
            “Are you going to come back?”   
Louis still won’t look at any of them.   
He shrugs.   
Harry makes a wounded noise and Liam can’t help but reach for him.   
Their hands twine and Harry squeezes his fingers.   
Liam tries to smile for him. 

Zayn stands, heavily shouldering the burden of alpha, and crosses over to Louis.   
            “Did we hurt you?”  The question is painfully soft.   
Liam wonders if Zayn’s trying to keep Louis from spooking any further.   
            “I just need to go,” Louis says.  “I don’t-”  He makes a helpless gesture, looking up to Zayn and back down so quickly Liam can’t make out his expression.   
“I can’t do this,” Louis says again.  “I don’t know how to make this work.” 

            “Louis.  Please.” 

Louis makes an awful noise, as if he’s in pain.   
            “Zayn, don’t give me that look,” he sighs.  
            “Please stay,” Zayn says, stepping closer.   
            “Yeah,” Harry adds, “please, Lou.”   
            “I can’t.  You’re all just-  I can’t.”   
            “Is there anything we can do?” Niall asks.   
Louis just shakes his head at that.      

It’s like they’re all stuck then – watching as Louis walks out of their lives. 

…

Things don’t go well with Louis gone. 

Liam can’t fix it so he stops trying. 

He moves back into the spare room.  He tries to pretend that he’s just friends with these lads.   
As much as he’s hurting he knows that they’re hurting more.   
It’ll be easier if he gives them the space they need to heal. 

If they decide to keep seeing each other, without Louis, maybe then they can discuss the idea of Liam re-joining them.   
He doesn’t really think that that is going to happen though.   
So he goes to class and does his best to pretend. 

…

Louis mopes for a solid week.   
He helps take care of his siblings.  He, begrudgingly, picks up after himself.   
He even ignores the hair that’s coming off in little clumps on his pillow.   
It’s an extra punch to the gut – to know that he’s actually mourning the loss of his alphas.   
_Omegas_ he thinks with as much disgust as he can muster.   
Not very much as it turns out. 

Because like it or not he is an omega.   
There’s been no challenging that the past couple days.   
The fact that he can be an alpha or a beta means nothing.  Not now. 

It’s not until the second week back at his old house that Louis realizes he could be pregnant.   
He’s not sure what to do with the idea, quickly backing off the paralyzing anxiety that hits him.   
Does he want to be pregnant?   
Does it really matter either way? 

Louis isn’t sure what he wants.   
Only that’s a lie.   
He wants to go back to his boyfriends.   
He wants them all to be one big happy clusterfuck together.   
But what if he is pregnant?

He doesn’t have any symptoms – yet.   
But they wouldn’t be showing yet anyway. 

The thing is Louis can’t stay with his mum if he is.   
She’s enough troubles.   
He can’t add a wailing little thing to them. 

His stomach turns warmly at that. 

If he is pregnant…  If he has a little bit of Zayn, or Harry, or even Niall growing inside him…  
Well that doesn’t sound so horrible.   
Not really. 

Maybe he should go back…for the little one’s sake.   
It’s the responsible thing to do.

It feels a bit queer, standing outside his own locked door.   
Louis has his key in hand but he’s not really sure what to do here.   
He’s been gone nearly two weeks now.   
Should he knock?  Should he have called first?   
He’s not sure. 

Finally, frustrated with himself, Louis shoves his key in the lock and turns it.   
The flat’s quiet.   
For what feels like several minutes Louis just stands in the doorway.   
He forces his feet forward, closing the door softly behind himself.   
            “Hello?” he calls out.  “Anyone here?”   
There’s a short gathering of silence. 

            “Louis?” Liam asks, appearing at the edge of the hall.   
            “Hey,” Louis offers, waving.   
            “Uh.  Hi.”   
Louis nibbles on his bottom lip and shifts from foot to foot.   
            “Where is everyone?”   
Liam only shrugs at that.   
            “Oh,” Louis says finally. 

They’re both silent.   
            “Are you staying?” Liam asks.   
He settles awkwardly against the wall, arms crossing over his chest.             
            “Don’t know,” Louis admits, “I want to.  I think.”   
            “That’s good,” Liam tells him.  “They’ve missed you.” 

Louis feels his face heat at that, letting out an unwilling laugh.   
It’s probably a ridiculous reaction based on how long he’s been dating these boys of course they’d have missed him but Louis was still worried that they’d just be able to slip Liam in his place.   
            “I’m sorry,” Liam adds, cutting into his stream of thoughts.   
            “What?”   
            “I told them to let you sleep, that you needed your rest.  I didn’t think-not that that’s why you left but I just well it occurred to me that waking up alone must have been awful.  We were all trying to share the bed and you kept getting jostled and I thought you couldn’t be getting any rest at all and I told them – I said that we should all let you be – that you must be incredibly tired.”   
            “Oh,” Louis manages, blinking twice.   
It’s a lot to take in.   
            “I’m sorry I’m so crap,” Liam says next. 

            “What?” Louis manages.  “You’re not crap, Liam.  I’m crap.  I was so fucking jealous of you I went into heat to get them to pay attention to me.”   
            “You’re not crap,” Liam tells him.   
He’s surprisingly fierce about it actually.   
“You’re amazing Louis.  If you could just see yourself the way we see you; alpha, beta, or omega.  Whatever.  If you knew how horrible things have been without you, honestly.  I broke up with all of them just so they could stop looking so guilty about bringing me here in the first place.” 

            “Did you always talk this much?” Louis says.  “Wait, what?”   
            “Which part do you need me to say again?” Liam asks.   
His tone is very patient, face softening as he looks at Louis.   
            “The part where I’m not crap,” Louis says.  Then, “All of it.  Maybe.”   
            “You’re amazing,” Liam says.   
He sounds like he really believes it, is the thing.   
            “Really?”   
            “They all love you,” Liam says.  “Zayn cried.”   
            “Of course he did,” Louis says.  “Zayn’s a giant marshmallow.”   
Liam cracks a bit of a smile at that.   
            “We all cried,” he says, sobering. 

            “I told you, I’m crap,” Louis says, going for the easy joke.   
            “Shut up,” Liam tells him, smiling so Louis feels good about himself.   
Liam isn’t crap at all.   
            “You’re not crap at all,” Louis says.   
It seems important enough to say out loud.   
            “Yeah?” Liam asks shallowly.   
Louis nods.  
            “Yeah.” 

            “Want me to stay then?”   
            “Course,” Louis frowns.  “Where are you going?”   
            “I just thought-”  
            “Well don’t,” Louis snaps, “you’re not crap and I quite like you and you’re staying with us.”   
Liam smiles at him.  His shoulders slope down slightly.   
            “I quite like you too.”  
            “Come here,” Louis sighs, “let’s have a cuddle.” 

As much as Louis wants to construct some sort of grand prank for his return, thumping against a wall from the closet perhaps, Liam convinces him it’s a bit of a bad idea.   
            “Maybe don’t make them want to strangle you as soon as they see you,” he points out, poking between Louis’ ribs.   
Louis sighs.   
            “Suppose you’re right.”   
            “I usually am,” Liam says.   
He sounds so self-important it shocks a snort out of Louis.  
Liam looks pleased at that, flushing pink. 

Louis goes for a nipple tweak, somehow even more pleased when Liam deflects him.   
_Not crap at all_ he thinks again. 

…

 They’ve settled on the couch when the door opens next, Niall all but throwing his bag down when he sees Louis.   
            “Shit,” Louis manages, pushing away from Liam just in time for Niall to jump on top of him.   
            “Ya bastard,” Niall mumbles into Louis’ neck.  “Where have ya been?”   
            “Been enjoying the quiet,” Louis smirks, “haven’t I.”   
Niall twists his nipple for that and Louis looks horribly affronted.   
            “I’ll break your fingers, you little leprechaun.”   
            “I’ll bite your ear off,” Niall returns, smiling gloriously.   
He bites at Louis jaw, laughing when Louis howls in outrage.   
  
            “Alright Tyson, calm down,” Louis says, making to dump Niall on the floor.   
Niall flails and clings to him, finally dipping to kiss him.   
Louis relaxes all at once, lips curling when they part.   
            “Missed you,” Niall says.   
            “Yeah,” Louis agrees.   
            “Alright then?”   
            “Think so,” Louis tells him.   
Niall climbs back off him then, shedding his jacket as he heads for the kitchen.  
            “Good.  I’m starved.”   
Louis laughs at that and curls back into Liam. 

It’s a bit strange how well they really fit together.  Louis curls up into a tiny ball and it’s easy enough for Liam to wrap an arm around him.   
   
Liam wasn’t really sure that he still had a place here.   
He couldn’t help but worry that eventually he wouldn’t – no matter what anyone said.   
Maybe he’s just being paranoid.   
He can hope that’s the case at least.   
Liam bites at his lip and pushes the thoughts away, tangling his leg with Niall’s and leaning further into the couch. 

Harry’s happy to see Louis too, of course, picking him up and kissing him soundly for so long Niall’s started wolf whistling from his spot on the couch.   
            “Alright, alright, put me down,” Louis protests, face flushed red.   
            “This is a thing?” Harry checks.  “You’re okay?”   
            “I’m…giving it a try,” Louis says.   
Harry accepts this as easily as they all had, unsurprisingly.   
He just nods and releases Louis before offering him a smile.   
            “Glad you’re back,” he adds.   
Louis smiles at that too. 

Zayn’s the last one home.   
By that time they’re all sprawled out on the floor, coffee table shoved aside in favor of cushions, pillows, and blankets.   
Zayn stops in the doorway, staring at them for the longest moment.   
            “Lou,” he finally says.   
Louis wriggles free, crossing to him carefully.   
            “Hey Zee.”   
Zayn draws him into a hug, not saying another word. 

            “Maybe we should close the door,” Louis suggests, tugging Zayn further into the apartment.   
            “Okay,” Zayn agrees quietly.   
They stand inside the closed door, still wrapped together.   
By the time they separate Zayn swipes at his eyes suspiciously.  
Harry coos from their nest. 

            “You’re here?” Zayn asks.  “You’re alright?”   
            “Yeah,” he agrees.  “I missed you guys.”  He takes a deep breath, hands twisting together as he looks at the carpet beneath his bare feet.  “I’m gonna try not to shut so much of myself away anymore.  I…love you guys a lot and I’m scared of a lot of things but I’m gonna try and be better.  And I’m gonna try to be okay being an omega.  I don’t really know if it’s gonna work or if it’s gonna be an everyday thing but…”  
He doesn’t seem to know what to say next, drifting off on a little shrug. 

Zayn nods anyway, pressing a quick kiss to Louis’ mouth. 

They all squeeze together, spending most of the night on the living room floor. 

…

Louis doesn’t do anything about the possible pregnancy for a few days.   
Eventually he psyches himself up enough to go to the store and get a test.   
He doesn’t make eye contact with anyone the entire time he’s in the store, hurrying away without his receipt. 

He may or may not be sweating by the time he makes it back to the flat. 

It’s not a big deal.   
Only he’s been locked in the bathroom for nearly fifteen minutes and he has yet to really convince himself of the fact.   
Louis takes in a deep breath and lets it back out.   
He carefully peels open the bag sitting on the countertop.   
The pregnancy test sits casually inside, pink and white cardboard taunting him.   
Aren’t they past gendered pregnancy tests by now?   
_Focus Louis, honestly_.   
His inner voice sounds just a bit like his mum’s and Louis is hit with twin urges to roll his eyes and call her up. 

Maybe he should take the test first though.  
After all, if it’s negative then there’s nothing to worry about.   
Louis still isn’t sure what he’s hoping for.   
He picks up the box with shaking hands and manages to tear it open.   
Then he takes another steadying breath. 

It’s easier than he really would have thought, pissing on that tiny little strip of paper.   
The waiting – that’s the hard part.    
Louis paces the small space, hands going through his hair over and over.   
There’s nothing that can hold his attention but that little test propped on the edge of the sink. 

In the end though – he isn’t pregnant.   
Louis stumbles to sit on the toilet, grateful he hasn’t missed.   
It’s not relief flowing through him, not exactly.   
He’s a bit disappointed honestly. 

And maybe the idea of it was enough, enough to get him back here.  Enough to get him to admit that this is where he wants to be.  _Who_ he wants to be.   
Maybe.   
Still, the thought of him and his boys raising a little baby is quaint.   
It makes him smile. 

Just because it isn’t happening now doesn’t mean it couldn’t.   
Louis takes another deep breath, still seated on the toilet, and makes another decision.

…

He’s been in therapy for two weeks.   
Funnily enough, once Louis wants her help, Dr. Conrad is quite lovely.   
She suggests that he may not be ready to be an omega full time.  The presence of Liam may help him with this – but for now perhaps he should use beta as a middle ground.   
Even better than that, she’s shown him some relaxation tips for when he feels like a change is about to happen.   
They’re not foolproof, nothing is really, but they help.   
Louis has hope. 

He thinks maybe he always had hope.   
Because he loves these boys and he wants to stay with them as long as he can. 

…

On Friday – Louis is different.   
He goes out early, bringing back groceries by the time Liam is eating his breakfast.   
            “Hey,” Liam offers.   
            “Hey,” Louis smiles.  “Brought some things.”   
            “I see that,” Liam says, sipping his tea.  “Thanks.”   
Louis putters about the kitchen, putting things away.   
Liam watches him from the table. 

Louis joins him shortly, a mug of fresh tea in hand.   
It’s quiet for a few moments and finally, Liam notices what’s changed.   
            “Louis?”   
            “Hm?”  
            “You moved up?”   
Louis smiles to himself, quietly pleased.   
            “Yeah,” he says.  “I’m working on it.”   
            “You feel better?”   
            “For now,” Louis says, “yeah.” 

Liam nods.   
            “That’s good then.” 

Zayn wanders out eventually, followed by Niall.   
Zayn drops into a chair, smiling at Louis before leaning his head against Liam’s shoulder.   
Niall wanders into the kitchen, returning with a plate of toast and settling himself in Louis’ lap.   
            “Smell good,” Niall says simply, biting into his toast.   
Louis loops an arm around Niall’s waist, thumb stroking along his belly slowly.   
            “You too,” he says finally. 

It’s not ten minutes later that Harry comes in, pale yellow bakery box in one hand and a bundle of mismatched flowers in the other.   
            “Morning,” he greets, grinning at all of them.   
There’s a chorus of mismatched greetings in return.   
Harry passes them to lay the flowers on the counter, bringing the box back to the table and setting it down.   
He tosses his jacket over the back of one of the empty chairs before sinking into it. 

For a startling moment, sharp in its intricacies and details, Liam feels at peace.   
He feels, all the way through to his core, that this is where he is meant to be.   
The next seconds it’s gone, which Liam is a bit glad of.  The feeling was intense, enough to make his eyes water – enough to stop his breath.   
He inhales again, taking the box Harry passes his way.   
There’s several muffins inside and Liam grabs one at random, passing the box along to Zayn. 

_I love you_ he thinks.  _I love each of you so very much._

…

Harry’s already awake when Liam slips out of bed the next morning.   
            “Hey,” he offers, a hoarse whisper, “I’ll go with you.”   
Liam flicks him a quick grin.   
            “Alright,” he says.   
Harry has to push Niall’s leg off his hips and disentangle his arm from Zayn’s – then he has to climb over Zayn and Louis both.   
Finally though, he’s out of bed.   
Slowly Harry rolls up onto the balls of his feet, lifting his arms above his head and stretching his whole body the best he can.    
He scratches at his stomach, heading for the bathroom.

Liam’s spitting into the sink as he comes in and Harry gives his arse a cheeky little slap.   
            “Chipper this morning,” Harry offers.   
            “So are you,” Liam says, easy as anything.   
Harry considers this as he finishes at the toilet.   
            “Yeah,” he allows, “s’pose you’re right.”   
Liam grabs a limp curl and gives it a tug, making Harry pout at him.   
            “C’mon Styles,” Liam says, “we’ve got places to be.”   
            “Right behind you.”       

…

Louis is still sleeping when Niall finally snuffles awake.   
A quick scan of the bed shows that Zayn is still passed out, snoring quietly of course.   
Niall lets a fond, lazy smile stretch over his face.   
Harry and Liam have fucked off somewhere and Niall’s gaze lands on Louis again.   
He leans a bit closer, poking at Louis’ cheek.   
The reaction is immediate, Louis huffing out a quick breath as he frowns in his sleep.   
            “Lou?” Niall teases, not really bothering to mind how loud he’s being.   
Louis huffs again.   
            “’S it, Christ Niall.”   
            “Come with me,” Niall says.   
He drops a kiss to the side of Louis’ face before giving his hand a firm tug.   
Louis groans but starts moving all the same. 

It’s easy enough to guide him down the hall and into the spare room.   
            “C’mon,” he says, “c’mon want you to fuck me.”   
Louis perks at that, because of course he does, lazy prat.   
            “Suppose I could,” Louis says.   
He rubs at an eye as Niall closes the door behind them.   
            “Wanna ride you,” Niall adds. 

            “If that’s what you want,” Louis says.   
He tosses himself on the bed and folds his arms behind his head, grinning hugely all the while.   
Niall laughs a bit helplessly.   
He can’t help it – he’s in love with this boy.

…

Zayn wakes when Louis slithers back into bed with him.   
He only moves enough to cuddle up with the other boy.   
Louis reeks of sex and Zayn wrinkles his nose a moment before biting at Louis’ throat.   
He hisses at the attack, flicking Zayn’s ear.   
Zayn growls at that, surging up to drape his body over Louis’ as much as possible.   
Louis wriggles a moment but gives up quickly.   
            “Good morning to you too,” Louis huffs.   
            “Missed all the fun, didn’t I,” Zayn mumbles.  
            “We can always have more fun,” Louis says, slipping his hand into Zayn’s.   
He twines their fingers and exhales. 

It’s quiet and important and Zayn’s missed Louis.   
He can’t remember the last time they laid together without fucking first.   
As if Louis owed him something before he could allow this.   
            “Lou,” Zayn says, wondering absently if Louis’ managed to fall back asleep.   
            “Zee,” Louis returns.   
His eyes stay closed.   
            “I love you, you know.  If – I don’t say it enough.  I love you.”   
Louis peeks up at him.   
            “Just,” he sighs, “just mean it, yeah?”   
Zayn gives his hand a firm squeeze.   
            “I do.”

Maybe sometimes it’s not enough just to show it.   
Maybe you have to be perfectly clear.   

…

Louis can’t really describe what’s changed.   
He supposes it’s mostly a change within himself and maybe that’s why he can’t see it clearly.   
But it feels like a good change.   
Like he’s more solid now. 

He likes who he is most of the time.  Maybe if he can focus on the things he likes he can stop doing the things he doesn’t like. 

The five of them may not be meant to last forever.   
They may not be as unchangeable as gravity.   
And maybe their relationship is like a sunset, dyeing the sky before drawing away to leave night in its place. 

Alright, there’s a reason he doesn’t spend his time being poetic. 

The point of it is – even if they’re meant to end Louis won’t be the one that leaves.   
And he’ll do his best not to be the thing that drives any of them away. 

Louis is going to be better.   
He’s going to figure out his issues and he’s going to be better.

…

Liam and Harry don’t do much more than collapse into bed when they get back – Harry first, sweaty and unshowered as he is, and Liam following.   
Liam, of course, has showered.   
They argue who will be the one to go and seek out Niall.   
It’s nearly Liam but Louis still feels a bit guilty so in the end it’s him that lures Niall away from the golf on the telly and back to bed. 

It’s a waste of a day as much as it isn’t.   
Time slips away and it feels like nothing is happening – but that’s not really the case. 

They all doze and sleep together, such a tangle of bodies and limbs that it’s actually impossible to tell where one ends and the other begins.    

 

 

     

  
         
   

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://tommostumtum.tumblr.com/)


End file.
